Riding the Road for Redemption
by xotennisloverxo
Summary: Fear, frustration, and failure. In the attemption of attaining her dream, those are the only words familiar to Dawn, but will running into an old face alter the state of her future? Ikarishipping!
1. Chapter 1

**An ikarishipping story! With Dawn's perpetual tangent of failure and yearning for a dream that seems impossible, will running into Paul, who of which has an incremental pathway of success, help bolster the future state of her life?**

**Hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it. Don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

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><p><strong>Dawn's POV<strong>

**.**

My heart dropped. I lost **again**.

Everything became slow, my vision became blurry, and I became a ticking time bomb.

Why, just why? Contest, after contest, I fail. No matter what regimens I train my Pokémon to, I always lose. My eternal allocation of failure has become my beacon of light that never ceases to make me feel useless, hopeless, and lamentable.

My Togekiss just fell; I just fell; my whole world just fell. Again. Just like always.

Running out of the ring, running out of the contest center, and running into the city, I tried to wash off these feelings. Feelings of shame, embarrassment, and indignity.

As I found a bench in an empty garden, I parked myself down and just sobbed. Sobbing out everything, just like I always do.

This aching pain in my chest, the pain I fell every time I lose a contest; it's like my heart is attempting to corrupt my body with it's throbbing, stinging every bone in my body. The pain quickly becomes intolerable, mentally and physically.

I sighed.

"When will I _ever_ win?"

I'm a twenty-four year old, still chasing her dreams. Dreams. Sometimes I laugh at my stupidity on how I easily succumb to such a thing, but then I remember that this "dream" of mine is the only thing I have. The thing that comprises my identity, the thing that gives me meaning; the one thing I cling to that gives me hope for my future—Coordinating.

When does one stop chasing his or her dreams? Does one ever stop chasing his or her dreams? All my life I have zealously, obsessively yearned to become a master coordinator. To become known, to become someone. My dream has taken over my life, consuming my every minute, my every thought.

Despite my destructive desire to become this _star_, my aspiration for such things is devalued every time I lose. _Losing_. I can't even remember the last time I've actually won anything. Whether it was a contest, a friendship, or a boyfriend. Regardless of the pain I encounter every time I lose, I always sustain my desire to keep trying. If I keep trying, I will eventually get somewhere, right? I just wonder how long I can keep up my act before I completely become defeated, before I completely give up. But, pondering the multitude of releasing such a dream is asinine because if I do, then I am no one. Then I would of wasted twenty-four years for nothing, except experiencing what a constant flow of failure feels like. My life would be a non-existent void of guilt and dishonor.

It's really hard to believe in myself sometimes. My parents stopping believing in my "dream," quite a while ago; not helping me out mentally or financially, they just really don't care what I do with my life anymore. I am a disgrace to them. To them, I'm just a petty girl who's stupidly trying to achieve the impossible. In result, I haven't spoken to them in years.

Sometimes, I can't help but feel defeated.

Due to my obsession with becoming a coordinator, I have splurged everything I have into it. Every dollar, every minute, and my every ounce of energy.

I live in a crappy apartment that I no longer go to, because the government has their spies coating the place. The government. Shit, the government could possibly be the thing I fear most, more than failure. Because I have endowed my Pokémon with the best of supplies and myself with the best of dresses, all of which are contributed for the sport of coordinating, I have ultimately pasted being in the realm of debt, but rather in the realm of being shit ass poor and utterly bankrupt.

Everyone I know has surpassed me. Ash returned back to Kanto and became the champion; Brock has become a world renowned Pokémon doctor; Kenny has won three Grand Festivals, and is on almost every coordinating magazine; Zoey quit coordinating, but decided to set up her own chain of sensational restaurants; Barry is one of Sinnoh's elite four members; even Paul has managed to gain some success in his life. Actually saying "some success" is rather an understatement, he's Sinnoh's Champion, and has set up a number of lucrative businesses.

Just pondering the multitude of my friends' success makes me really depressed. Why didn't I end up with something to be proud of? Why didn't I get what I fucking wanted?

I wonder where I would be if I did what my parents told me to do. Due to my god given looks, they have always nagged me to become a model. With a perfect body, long blue hair, and exquisite facial features, I could effortlessly pass as one of the most gorgeous girls alive; but modeling isn't my passion, coordinating is.

I slouched in the bench and sighed.

All I want is my dream to come true. I want to show my parents that I'm not useless; I want to make them proud; but more importantly, I want to be proud of myself and I want to show it to the world.

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><p>After taking a three hour nap on the bench, it was dark, so I decided to leave.<p>

As I strode down the streets of Hearthrome, I felt full of shame. I think something worse than having something to be fearful of, is having something to be ashamed of. Constantly harassing my brain, shame that never ceases to make me feel culpable.

Eventually, turning a corner, I panicked. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I failed to realize that I went on the street that my apartment is located. Shit!

The whole street is lined up with cops. Stupidly exposing myself, one of the cops spotted me. With adrenaline piercing my veins, I broke into a fast spirit.

Looking out of my peripherals, I saw numerous cop cars start up their engines. _Crap! _

There is no way I can humanly out run an effing car.

I quickly pulled out one of my Pokéballs from my purse and released Lopunny. In seconds, she was racing through streets, and eventually, she bolted through the doors of a building, one of the most esteemed buildings in the city. Holding the most lucrative businesses, only really powerful people work there.

Thanking her, I put her back into her Pokéball. Not wanting to be stopped by the cops, I went into the elevator of the building. Pressing the top button—button number 112—the elevator started to take me up.

Running my hands through my hair and leaning against the wall of the elevator, I unknowingly drifted off into sleep.

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><p><strong>Paul's POV<strong>

**.**

Why in hell do I stay here all night getting work done? I should be training. If I didn't get a shit load of money for being the CEO of this company, then I wouldn't even be here. I'm a greedy twenty-five year old, and I don't see anything wrong about it.

Once I decided that it was late enough to go back to my home, or rather my beach house, I walked out of my office and towards the elevator.

When the elevator doors opened, I went in, but I noticed something different.

Lying on the floor, is a deliciously attractive girl who appears to be…sleeping? What the fuck?

I fell like I've met her before. I mean, she has blue hair, granted her long hair is stunning, but having blue hair is not really common.

Upon closer examination, I realized who it was.

"TROUBLESOME?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, and favorited my story! It means soooo much and the more you do it, the faster it makes me want to update! Thanks for reading the previous chapter and I hope you will stick with me for the many more chapters to come. Here's chapter 2, I hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it! Sorry, I would have had this chapter out earlier, but I was working on my other story "A Utopian Unova Not." I'm going to try to be consistent with this story and update at least twice a week, so look out for the updates! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

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><p><strong>Dawn's POV<strong>

.

Waking up, I found myself in somewhere foreign, somewhere unfamiliar to me. Wherever I was, it was magnificent. It splurged on every aspect of opulence-this house was spectacularly embellished with only the most luxurious of items, decorations, and furniture. As I got out of the bed I was in, I started to look around the place.

When I started to look through the drawers, I found an old, creased picture. A picture of me from when I was about twelve years old. What in hell is a picture like this doing here? Gazing upon the picture, I became engulfed in the times of when I was once full of optimism, hope, and pure happiness—happiness that wasn't tainted by a perpetual tangent of defeat.

Looking upon the picture, water was threatening to corrupt my eye. By just allowing my eyes to travel themselves upon the picture, my mind traveled into the past of who I once was. I couldn't control my emotions. I _let_ the tears burst through and stain my face.

As a child, I thought I would be so much further in life than where I am now, so much better, so much _happier_.

A girl sweetly smiling into the camera, thinking that she has the world in her hands, thinking that she has everything figured out, thinking that she's unstoppable. I envy that smile—a true smile, a smile that can not be emulated through another medium, a smile that I am not longer capable of producing. Not understanding what the true validity of the world, nor understanding what reality truly is, my brain was fabricated with a false sense of confidence. But I now know what reality truly is: a big ass bitch.

A fictitious smile plastered on a younger version of me, a version that has yet to know what fear, frustration, and failure really feels like. Piercing my heart, such emotions never fail to rape my mind and mental well being.

I have always wanted my dream, craved it, yearned for it, but nothing salutary has ever happened to me. Absolutely nothing. Mindlessly chasing with my dream with a passion, a passion to succeed. A fucking unrelenting passion to never give up.

Why can't I measure up to anything? Why can't I just get what I want? Just why?

My failure has scarred me, evolving into disappointment and anger; it never ceases to drive me insane. Anger that is instable, impossible to be controlled, to be conquered. Failing not only myself, but my Pokémon as well, my anger has shattered my motivation.

I broke from my thoughts on the picture when I heard someone approaching the room. Quietly putting the picture back and closing the drawer, I tensed up.

Please don't be a rapist, please don't be a rapist, please don't be a rapist!

I peeled my eyes open.

I saw Paul.

_**Paul**_? What is he doing here? Oh my fucking God, I'm in his house? How did I manage that? He has a really nice house, he must be loaded…..damn it, pay attention Dawn!

"Paul? Wha-."

Cutting me off, he spoke. "You were sleeping in the elevator of my building so I decided to take you to my house."

"Thanks?" I said weakly with confusion. Why would Paul help me out? What would enable him to do so? Has Paul turned mentally retarded or something?

"Whatever, you're fine now, so you can go," he replied, not really caring.

I haven't seen Paul in years and this is how we reconvene? Me waking up in his _house_?

Allowing my eyes to venture Paul, I noticed something. With small droplets of water sliding off his hair, work-out attire, and a slight tint of red on his face, he must have just gone for a jog or something. I always knew that I had a high propensity to be attracted to Paul, but this just takes it to a whole new level.

"Troublesome? What are you staring at? Get out of my house!" he growled with a flick of his hair.

What I don't understand, is why Paul would even have the decency to help me out in the first place? And now he just wants to kick me out? What is running through his head and why does he have a picture of me from when I was younger in his drawer? Weird, much?

I was about to talk, but he was faster. Leaning against the doorway of the bedroom and blowing his bangs out of his face, he replied, "Listen, I have places to be today, so just get out."

"Fine."

I composed myself as I got up and exited his house.

Ugh, what do I do now? I'm in not in the mood to go and train my Pokémon; we just lost yesterday in that contest and need a mental break. I can't go back to my apartment, I'm completely broke, and I have no one to hang out with. So, what would a broke, depressed, homeless, frustrated, yet gorgeous twenty-four year old of a failure do today? I don't know.

Sighing, I left Paul's house, and eventually reached the city.

When I walked through the streets of Hearthrome City, I decided to go to Amity Square. Why? Because Amity Square is probably one most tranquil places that I can think of. With an abundance of flowers, the multitude of fragrances is limitless, allowing my mind to get lost in the wondrous smells. With various large fountains, hearing an unremitting cascade of water not only soothes my mind, but my heart. The everlasting silence that encompasses the park matches not even that of a library. Though, only few souls come to appreciate the value of such natural beauty, which is why it's become the haven of which I detach myself from the world. My Pokémon seem to enjoy it too.

One problem, though, there is a fee to get in. Usually, I sneak in the back way. Crawling under the fence, I easily manage to get in, but unfortunately they have fixed that problem, so now, I have a problem on how to get in.

As I stood in front of the Amity Square entrance, I pondered on my various options were. Which ones would be conceivable and which ones would be stupid? My thought process was immediately distracted when I saw something out of my peripherals, something strange.

_**Paul**_ going into Amity Square? Well, I'm not too sure if it's Paul or not. He's concealing himself by wearing a massive amount of clothes, so it's kind of hard to tell, but he's probably doing that to hide himself from the paparazzi.

Whatever, I'm going to give it a try. I have no other idea on how to get in here, and I _really_ want to go in.

Casually walking to where Paul wais, I stood behind him and gulped. What if this isn't Paul? What if this is just some weird guy who goes to Amity Park and dresses in an abundance of clothing, so he can have a strip party or something? Or worse, what if he goes in here and molests small Pokémon! EW!

Stop it Dawn, just do it. Do you want to get in or not? What else are you going to spend the day doing? Moping around? No, you already did that yesterday, after your loss.

I took a deep breath. I have nothing to lose, so why not? I'll go on with my original plan. Certainly Paul won't want to blow his cover, right? Well, what would he do if I try to threaten that?

Placing myself directly behind Paul, I curled my arms around his waist and pulled myself up to him. At my single touch, he tensed and I started to lose consciousness. He has a _really_ developed chest! Damn it, Dawn pay attention!

I reached up to his face and instantly became nervous. Due to our close proximity, it made it extremely difficult to retain any amount of focus, my attraction to Paul didn't help either. Once I compiled myself, I pressed my lips against his ear and started talking.

"I know it's you Paul, your disguise is ridiculous. If you don't want me to yell out to the heavens that _the _**Paul Shinji **is here at Amity Park, you better buy me a ticket in. I won't bother you while I'm in there."

Releasing my grasp on him, he turned around and locked his eyes with mine. He scowled then replied, "You're so troublesome. Why in hell do you want me to buy you a ticket? They don't cost that much, so what's your problem? And if you dare shout my name in public, you're going to regret it."

Burning his eyes into mine, I cringed. Paul never fails to make me tense up under that infamous scowl. Well, it takes a lot to push me down, and my failures are a representation of such. I will never give up for the things I want.

"Just buy me a ticket and nothing will be of it."

"No way. Go find some else to bother, I'm not in the mood," he snapped, averting eye contact with me.

"Fine, I guess you want it that way." Paul has to understand that his perfect little life isn't so perfect. He has to accept all his fans and paparazzi. I accept all the frustration, fear, and failure I get from my life, even though I don't like it, so he has to accept his.

Strutting into the middle of the entrance to Amity Square, I got everyone's attention, which currently happened to be a lot of people.

Smiling, I started talking, "I would just like to notify everyone that we have a special guest here today! None other than **the** PAUL SHINJI!"

To put it simply, everyone went insane at my announcement.

Certainly not enjoying the crowd's newfound enjoyment, Paul's eyes widened, his palms clenched, and he looked like he was going to explode. He probably didn't think I'd have the guts to actually do it.

Running over to him, I pulled off his coat and layers of clothing, before he could run away, and instantly everyone went _**ballistic **_that he really was here. I didn't even think that the mere sight of Paul could incite such strong fan-dominium. Not to mention, his fans are beyond bizarre.

"OMFG, IT'S PAUL! I've always wanted to loose my virginity to you!"

"PAUL! Sign my breasts!"

"Paul, let's battle man! I can so beat the Champion of Sinnoh!"

"IT'S PPPPPPPAAUUUUULLLLLLL!"

"PAUL! I can be your wing man and we can go out to a bunch of clubs and score some chicks!"

"Paul is soo hawt!"

"HE HAS PURPLE HAIR!"

Glaring at me, Paul spoke, "Look what you've done, Troublesome! How am I going to get out of this?"

I threw him a playful smile as I flicked my hair. "You should of just of bought me a ticket."

"Fuck you," he sneered.

Within seconds, he broke into a full on spirit with the large crowd following him. Sniffling a giggle, I took advantage of the moment. Luckily, since everyone was so distracted by the incident, I was able to slip into Amity Square without having to pay.

Going to my favorite spot in the park, a secluded little area cradled by the smell of plumerias, I laid down. As I felt the grass tickle my skin, heard the light breeze move the flowers, and sensed the heat of the sun, I smiled. Everything is just so perfect in this park, why can't my life be like that?

Wanting to share this moment with my Pokémon, I released Lopunny, Parchirisu, Togekiss, Piplup, Ambipom, and Espeon.

Laying back down and cuddling with my Pokémon, I sweetly sighed. I love my Pokémon. If I didn't have them, then I'm not sure what I would do with my life.

Once I closed my eyes, I started to drift off into my thoughts.

What if I never attain my dream? What if I can never redeem myself of all my failures? What if I never get anywhere in this career? What if I waste my whole life to a life filled with misfortune and brevity?

In the process of getting discomforted by my thoughts, I started to rub my temple. What if trying my best isn't good enough?

Rolling over onto my stomach, I sighed.

Should I just give up and follow another career path?

"Ugh, why is life so unfair!" I screamed.

Instantly fixating their eyes on me, all my Pokémon looked at me worriedly.

"Sorry guys, I'm just stressed, like usual. You know, the same old questions and stuff."

As she jumped onto my lap, Pachirisu started to cuddle up to me and, in result, the others did the same. All cuddled together tightly and sweetly, we eventually fell asleep simultaneously. Gathered around by the ones I love, I smiled. I may not have the success to prove my worth, but I have the love of my Pokémon to do so.

* * *

><p>We all didn't wake up until late in the day, around 9:00 pm. Losing so much would make anyone exhausted, mentally and physically. In result, my Pokémon and I denote a lot of sleeping to revitalize our spirits. Moreover, we sleep in the regards so we can escape from the world mentally, allowing our minds to indulge themselves in the realms of our dreams—dreams that are actually worth living.<p>

Peeling my eyes open, they were met with a sky guarded with a sheet of darkness, granting the stars access reveal themselves and shimmer. Since no one is ever here during the night, my Pokémon and I have made it a daily ritual to go swimming in this huge secluded lake in the back of the park. Not only does the water somehow renew our bodies, but it refreshes our souls.

In due time, we reached the little lake in the back. Seeing my reflection in the lake, I smiled. The light that the moon gives off certainly exemplifies my beauty. I giggled. I can be really vain sometimes, but at least I have _something_. I mean if I wasn't extraordinarily beautiful, then what would I have?

Sometimes I can't comprehend how nature can be so gorgeous. This lake is certainly beyond words. The tress curl around it giving it a secluded, comforting feel while the roses scattered across the entrance produce a welcoming feeling. I feel safe here, I feel good here.

Striping off my clothes, I decided to go in. As I slowly allowed the water to encompass my body, I gradually glided my way through the water until my whole body was submerged.

Following after me, my Pokémon were much more abrupt in their ways of getting in as they all plunged into the water. The thing I love about this lake is that it's super large and private, so my Pokémon and I can mess around without having to worry about any intruders.

My muscles easily became at ease with the warm temperature of the water. I looked at my Pokémon and smiled. A smile plastered on every one of their faces; my Pokémon certainly enjoy playing with one another in this lake.

"So, you've been spending this whole day fucking around at the park when I had to outrun over five hundred senselessly crazed fans who either wanted to rape me or battle me? I wasted one whole day because of you," a voice growled.

Instantly contouring our head towards to the sound of the voice, my Pokémon and I were stunned.

_**WHAT IS PAUL DOING HERE! **_

I shivered then panicked. Why in the hell would he be here? Shit, does he want some sort of revenge or something from what I did earlier? Great, this isn't going to end well, but I mean it wasn't even really my fault; he should have just bought me a ticket.

Jolting myself underwater, I swiftly started to swim to the other side of the lake. Instantaneously following my suit, my Pokémon joined me. Once we reached the other side of the lake, I realized that I had forgotten something.

My _**clothes**_!

Shit! Why does my life always end up in failure no matter what I do? What am I going to do now? Paul is on the other side of this lake…I gulped at the thought. The multitude of possibilities that Paul can possibly do with my clothes is endless.

This is going to end badly…..


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, and favorited my story! It means soooo much and the more you do it, the faster it makes me want to update! Thanks for reading the two previous chapters and I hope you will stick with me for the many more chapters to come. Here's chapter 3, I hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

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><p><strong>Dawn's POV<strong>

.

Helplessly swaying to the current of the lake, I gulped. Losing all dignity, I felt humiliated and embarrassed. With Paul at the opposing side holding my clothes, I shivered. How in the hell do I get out of this situation? How in the hell do I get him to stop smirking? Gahhhh, I just wanted to get over the pain from loosing that contest yesterday, but yet, I have to get whacked in the face with another problem? Paul _being _that problem.

Within seconds, I soon became overwhelmed with the situation. In addition, this only made me feel worse. Feeling overwhelmed with everything in my life, I started to feel the oncoming tears—tears that would only further more prove how worthless and pathetic I am to Paul. I sighed. He's going to hold this against me.

I don't really have any other choice. I have to swim back to the other side of the lake where Paul is.

Bobbing my head above the water, making sure that I wasn't revealing my breasts, I meet his gaze. As I breathed slowly, I gained my composure.

"Paul, can you please just give me back my clothes and leave?" I said sheepishly.

Crossing his arms over his chest and smirking maliciously, he replied, "Do you have any idea what I had to go through with those fucking fans? And you just expect me to give your clothes back right off the bat? Just as stupid as ever."

Gahhh, what's Paul's problem? He's such an ass. I already give into _everybody _in my life. There is always someone mocking me, demeaning me, and controlling me to their whims. Why, for once, can't I just ever get what I want? Why can't I ever get happiness? Well, I'm sick of it; there's no way that I'm going to put up with it anymore, especially from Paul. But how in the hell will I do that? I'm not exactly the best at thinking on my feet.

Remaining in the water, keeping with my eyes locked onto Paul's, I eventually got an idea. I mirrored his smirk, causing him to arch an eyebrow at my sudden change in disposition. I mentally giggled at the absurdity at my idea. I wonder how horny a guy like Paul is?

Swimming back to the opposing side of the lake, I slowly strutted out. With droplets of water leisurely running down my _naked _body, and the cold air immediately caressing my bare skin, I shivered with anticipation. Anticipation in the regards of what Paul's reaction would be.

I slightly turned my head around, still only allowing him visual access to the back of my naked body, and smiled victoriously.

Completely frozen, Paul dropped my clothes and lost all recognition of his intuition. With an incrementally increasing blush, red was practically consuming his face. Eyes doubling in size and his mouth hanging wide open, he started to drool. _Paul _**drooling**? Is that even possible? I guess he really is horny.

I gave him a seductive smile, he blushed more. I flicked my hair, he ruffled his hair. I ran off with my Pokémon, he became paralyzed.

As I was running through the crisp air, my thoughts twirled. What just happened?

I ignored my thoughts. Why should it matter? Paul has nothing to do with my life and never will so why should I care about what he thinks of me? Eventually, I relocating myself in another part of the park, a part that is completely deserted. Shivering, I looked over at my Pokémon and frowned.

"I'm really sorry, guys. I wish he didn't ruin it, but what am I going to do now? I don't have any clothes! Gahhh, and I wanted to have a better day than yesterday. I guess I wasn't destined for good fortune."

I sighed and sat on a nearby rock. Aimlessly sketching the indents of the rock with my finger, I tried to ease my nerves. When I looked at Lopunny, she smiled at me. As she approached me, she handed me my backpack.

"OMG! Thanks so much Lopunny! I thought I lost it!" I chirped as I embraced her in a hug, which was slightly awkward since I was naked. Rummaging through my backpack, I pulled out a black skirt, a red v-neck shirt, some underwear and a bra. Once I was dressed, I recalled all my Pokémon and I started to walk out of the park.

I walked along the streets of Heathrome city and gulped nervously. Walking in the night, wearing the outfit that I'm wearing, with my kind of body, is not a good thing. I can easily get jumped….or worse….raped. But then again I should be expected to be attacked with such assaults, I mean fate just _loves _torturing me.

Undeterred, I picked up my pace. Eventually, I reached the richer parts of Heathrome and happily sighed. Becoming tired, my walking slowed and my thoughts became jumbled.

I can't continue living like this. No money, no home, no self-worth, no feeling of accomplishment, _no one_. I sighed. But coordinating is my world, the world I long to live and thrive in, a world that has _destroyed _me. Maybe it might be a good thing to change career paths?

Not wanting to think about my predicament any longer, I sat down on a bench. Calling out Lopunny, I asked her to keep guard as I sleep. I don't want anyone to abduct me or something.

Lying on the bench, I gazed up into the sea of stars. How can such insignificant things inspire so many people? They're nothing but fabrications of space. I scrunched my nose in frustration. The lies they feed you as a child. Will I ever be able to ignore or better yet be rid of this pain on my skin, the pain in my heart?

* * *

><p>"Ummm….excuse me, miss?"<p>

Flashing my eyes open, I was met with a guy with green eyes and blonde hair who was dressed in the highest fashion. I sat up and looked at him questionably.

"Yes?" I asked nervously. What could this guy possibly want?

"Well you see, I am not sure if you are aware, but you are sitting right in front of Shinji Corporations."

Since I was so indulged in my thoughts, I disregarded the building in back of me. Of course, it had to be Paul's. Just my luck.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me, I'll leave," I said as I recalled Lopunny.

"Well, that's not exactly it. May I talk to you in the lobby?"

Being uneasy about the situation, I started to get nervous. Why does this guy need me? Is Paul planning something? Despite feeling anxious, I followed him into the building.

I actually nearly lost him while going through the building. It's so gorgeous and well-kept and _amazing_. They must have had a high-end designer devise this building. Without a doubt, in due to the lavish setup, only the premier people work here.

Once we were his office, we both sat down in opposing chairs.

He spoke the silence first. "You see, his company has been looking for a spokes model for quite some time. But Paul has rejected every candidate. You see his level of prestige and perfection is astounding. Everything has to be the best and flawless, just as his battling style is. However, appearance wise, you seem to fit that category. So, seeing you outside, I had to offer you this opportunity."

My mind fizzed. This guy is offering me a job to be the spokes model of Paul's company, one of the richest companies in Sinnoh? Is he for real? How in world would I get hit with such a stroke of luck?

"…..Not to mention, you will get paid exorbitantly," he said with a smile.

_Money_? I haven't ever had an established form of revenue. I haven't even had a bank account. How did this even happen?

"Well…..what exactly do I have to do?" I asked apprehensively.

"Alright, well there are a few things. You will be in magazines and commercials modeling off Paul's line of clothing. Then, you will do commercials like advertising and talking about his products. And you will have to be Paul's secretary."

_WHAT_? I'm fine with modeling off clothes and being in commercials, but I will have to be his secretary? Gahhh! Hell no…but then how can I turn down such an enticing offer? I may love coordinating, and it may be my dream, but I may also be chasing an endless road of failure. I did want to make my parents proud, make myself proud, but then, that would mean doing it in a completely different medium than I originally thought. How can I throw away everything I worked for? However, my work hasn't paid off; no matter how hard I've applied myself to coordinating, all I'm ever met with is failure. So I guess there's nothing really I can loose, except my dreams….

Relocking my eyes with this man, I asked him a question.

"Listen, you don't know the relationship Paul and I have together. I have known him ever since I was little and all we ever did was argue. We're total opposite and he hates me. I'm sure he won't want me to be his spokes person and stuff."

"Well…..whether that is true or not, is not up to me, but one thing is true: you have the looks and that's what our company needs. Paul may be the owner, but he's not going to turn down perfection when he sees it."

I gulped. Do I really want to do this? Well, it would be the smart thing to do. But coordinating has always been my identity. Everyone I know correlates me with coordinating. If I loose that, then I don't know who I am. I guess I could take this job for a while, build up some money and confidence, and then get back into the realm of coordinating. I won't be ditching it…..but simply be putting it on hold.

Breathing heavily, I responded, "Alright, I guess taking this job won't hurt."

Smiling, the man pounced on me and gave me a warm hug. He might be attractive, but this is still kind of awkward….

"I'm so glad you agreed; now Paul won't yell at me anymore! Come on, let me show you your office." Tugging on my hand, he quickly got into the elevator and took us up. "All our offices are very plush, meaning that they are of the highest luxury. I mean being Champion of Sinnoh and having the most lucrative business, it's expected of Paul."

"I would assume so," I replied.

He locked his eyes with mine and smiled. "You know, your office is going to be right next to mine. I'm sure we'll have some fun," he purred.

Gahhhh! Guys are so horny. Well, at least he's nice, but he's going to have to control that party in his pants.

Once the elevator doors opened, he took me to my office. With splendid smell, scrumptious design, stylish furniture, and windows overlooking the city, I smiled. This won't be _that_ bad.

"Since you're going to be the spokes model, you're not going to be spending that much time in here expect for organizing your bookings and being Paul's secretary. Alright, well I will see you tomorrow. Be sure to be here at exactly 8:00 am. We'll get all your paper work sorted out and stuff too. By the way, I'm Jeff."

"Okay, sounds good. And I'm Dawn."

With a final smile, he left. Closing the door to my office, I ran over to my chair and jumped on it. Gahh, can a chair get any more comfortable? Easily allowing myself to fall asleep in the comfort of the chair, I shut my eyes closed.

* * *

><p>Upon awaking up, my ears were met with loud voices arguing with one another.<p>

I disregarded the nose. That has to be the first night that I have slept perfectly! No bad nightmares, no worrying, just nothing, but sleep. Hopefully this day will go just as well.

I wonder how my first day working here will go. I can't help but feel a bit anxious, especially after my last encounter with Paul. He saw the back side of me _naked_. He's either going to ignore the fact that it even happened, act totally awkward, or just be Paul.

I really hope this job isn't that mandating. I sighed. I hope I don't loose focus on my true dream. Sitting back in the chair, I logged onto the computer on my desk. However, in the process of logging on, I was distracted.

Paul jolted into my office, angry as hell.

"Troublesome," he growled.

"Yeah?" I steadily replied back, meeting his gaze.

Slamming his hands of my desk, causing me to jump, he spoke. "You'd have the balls to walk into _my _company and ask for a _job, _didn't you? I already have to train my Pokémon and be in charge of this company, so my hands are fucking full. I don't want to have to deal with you too. This isn't a joke, my company is real and if you just took the job to fuck around with me then you were wrongly mistaken."

"What? I didn't ask! Jeff offered me the job," I replied back.

"And you had to fucking take it?" he snapped.

Becoming nervous, I started to fiddle with my silver heart shaped ring. How does Paul's anger escalate so quickly? It's kind of scary. I stared at my feet as I replied back to him, "W-Well…..you are the owner of the company, so you're the one who decides whether or not to hire me."

"Yeah, that's the thing Troublesome. You're fucking perfect for the job, so now all my associates are on my ass about hiring you. So, in actuality, I really have no choice."

"Okay….?"

Well, where does that leave me now? Is Paul going to hire me or not? I could really care less, in fact, I really hope he doesn't.

Pulling out a stack of paper work, he handed me a pen. "That means that you're becoming the new spokes model whether I like it or not. So, you're going to have to sign all this paperwork," he mumbled.

Not wanting to further upset Paul, I grabbed the pen and scribbled my signature, which I have practiced over and over, thinking one day I would become a famous coordinator, on all the spots that required my name. After giving him the contract and pen back, he walked out of the room.

Once he left, Jeff entered the room. "Sorry about that. He gets that way a lot."

"Yeah, I know," I said sheepishly while rubbing the back of my head.

"Anyway, since you're brand new, we haven't set up any dates for any of your commercials or modeling things, so for now you are just going to have to just be Paul's secretary. Meaning that you will do _everything _he says. Alright, well, I'll see you around, Dawn," he said with a wink.

Slouching in my chair, I groaned. What did I get myself into? I wonder if Paul would get mad if I let some of my Pokémon out, to hang out in my office? On second thought, he probably would. Playing with my pen, I started to get bored. I wonder what Paul's going to make me do? Gahhh, I wish I was just training with my Pokémon.

Peeking his head in, Paul glared at me. "Troublesome, my room now."

I guess that's my cue. I slowly walked out of my room and started to look for Paul. Where'd he go? Shit. I have no idea which room is his office. There are so many rooms around here! GAHH! I gulped nervously and fiddled with the ends of my skirt as I came to a consensus: I'll just look around I guess.

As I walked through the halls of the building, a lot of the men gave me suggestive winks while all the women glared at me. God, my first day and everyone either hates me or wants to have sex with me. Great. Getting bored, I started to loose my attention, which, in affect, make me walk into the _guys _bathroom.

This certainly isn't Paul's office. Upon walking back to the door, all the lights turned off. What the hell? Really, there's a power shortage?

Out of nervousness, I slowly opened the bathroom door and started to walk out. I _really _hope I don't do anything stupid in the dark. With my heart beat racing and my anxiety accelerating, I started to get worried. I hate the dark. What's weird though, is how does this building get a power shortage in the first place? I mean it doesn't seem natural. It's kind of weird.

Thinking about the situation only made me more nervous. Shit.

Just calm down Dawn, nothing bad is going to happen, hopefully. But, in every situation in my life, something has always gone wrong, so why should this be any different?

Crawling on the floor of the office, my hand soon came in contact with something. Someone's…. foot? In the process of grabbing the individual's foot, they feel over onto me. Crap! This is _really _awkward.

With my body latched onto the person's on top of me, the position we're in is not good. Their face in my ass and the back of my head in their crotch. GAH! What the hell do I do?

My mental capacity quickly diminished as my stress sky-rocketed. Whoever is on top of me is kind of crushing my body!

Lights flashing back on, I sighed contently. Well, at least I can see now. But, who's on top of- gahhhhhh it's _Paul_!

Making things worse, Jeff was running down the hallway and accidentally tripped on someone, making the drink he was drinking to spill all over the two of us. Great. So now, Paul and I are laying _soaking wet _on top of one another.

Getting up, Paul glared at me. I sheepishly smiled at him. Maybe I won't get in trouble? _Wrong_.

He grimaced at me as he clenched his hands and flicked the water off his hair. With squandering a moment, he snatched my hand and pulled on me into his office. As he released my hand, he scowled at me.

"Listen Troublesome, if you're going to work here we are going to have to establish some ground rules," he said.

Talking to Paul right now proved to be really awkward. I mean my clothes are practically soaked, making them cling and outline my body. Not only that, but my top is see through, perfectly defining my breasts and my bra. However, Paul seems to be really angry so he's not taking notice. Thank God, when things get awkward with Paul, it's never good.

Sitting in a chair placed in front of his desk, I sat down. I'm going to have to listen to Paul give me a list of rules. Gahhh, great!

"There is only one rule. You must always listen and do what I say, got it?" he said, making eye contact with me.

Not only did the water outline my clothes, but they outlined his clothes as well, giving me perfect view of his chest. Shit, talk about working out.

"Troublesome! Goddamn it, listen!"

"S-Sorry, I'll do anything and everything you say," I retorted, trying to look at anything but his perfectly sculpted chest.

Smirking, he replied, "Good. Now make me a sandwich."

"_WHAT_!" I nearly yelled. Jolting out of my chair, I glared at him. "Are you serious?"

Doing paper work, he didn't make eye contact with me and replied, "Yes, now get going."

This is unbelievable! Before walking out of his office, I made sure to slam the door really loudly. Gahh, what the hell is Paul's problem! He wants me to get him a sandwich! Is he kidding me? If being secretary means being his little maid, then screw this.

Walking about of the building, I started to look for a sandwich place. How in hell would I even know what kind of sandwiches Paul likes? I hate him sooo much right now! Finding a fancy looking sandwich shop, I went in. As I stood in line I started to study the menu. Okay, now what do I do…..?

Maybe he likes meatballs? Steaks? Ham? Turkey? I lips twisted into a smile. I'll just tell them to put _everything _on it.

Giving me a weird look, the sandwich lady was about to ask why I would want every type of meat and every kind of vegetable on a sandwich, but she just shrugged it off.

Waiting for his sandwich to be made, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.

"Dawn?"

What? Who could of that been?

I flashed my eyes open and was confronted by _Barry _and _Kenny_? What is the likelihood that they would be here together?

"Uhhhhh, hey guys. What'cha doing here?"

Being super excited, Barry spoke first. "Well, you see, I was in Heathrome training my Pokémon and stuff, and then I ran into Kenny, and then we started talking and stuff. We got hungry, so we decided to come here and eat. Not having anything to do tonight, we decided to go clubbing together! Yeah! So what are you doing here Dawn? I haven't seen you in a while. Hey, why are you wet?"

Barry will always be Barry. Talking too fast, running too fast, just doing everything too fast. Wait….shit! I totally forgot that I was soaked wet. Gaaahhh! That's why Kenny hasn't talked! He's been stared at my chest this whole time. Great! Ever since I was a kid, Kenny has always had a crush on me and that still remains true today, but I absolutely hate Kenny. He's the one who got all the success, all the notoriety, the one who got _**my **_dream with minimal effort. Riding on luck, he quickly rose to the top while I simmered at the bottom. It may be jealously, but how in the hell is it fair that he gets everything he wants when he hasn't worked _nearly _as hard as I have? Seeing him on every magazine, every billboard, just everywhere makes me angry, makes me envious, makes my feel like a _failure_.

Adverting my attention back to the situation, I replied, "Well it's a long story, but I have to go. Maybe I'll see you later, Barry?"

"Yeah! Totally!" he gleamed. "Wait! Dawn! Here's my phone number, call me if you want to go out with us tonight!"

Shoving the paper with his number in my pocket, I blushed and replied, "Yeah, sure."

Going up to the counter, I paid for the sandwich with the company's credit card and left.

It feels so good to see Barry again. I've really missed him. However, I'd rather not of liked to see Kenny again. Maybe I might go out with them tonight.

As I Fixated myself on the current situation, I worried that Paul was going to be so mad for me being late. Oh well, not my problem! He's just going to have to deal with it. As I was about to re-enter the building, I saw a pharmacy and thought of an idea.

I eagerly entered the pharmacy. As my black heels clicked on the hard floor of the store, everyone noticed me. Maybe it was a bad idea coming in here, especially with what I have in mind. Oh well! Once I approached the section I was searching for, which didn't take long on account of the small size of the store, I smiled.

_Laxatives._

But now, which strength should I purchase?

Regular? Definitely not.

Strong? Perhaps, but something with a higher magnum would be better.

Super? That's more like it, although I want the best item possible.

Super Strength? **Perfect.**

Upon leaving the laxative section, I made my way through the poorly decorated pharmacy and advanced towards the register.

To say it plainly, buying laxatives is never a good experience.

Once I had my weapon in tow, I left the store with a smile plastered on my face. Surely, Paul will love to sit on a toilet for a couple of hours, wouldn't he?

Going back into the building, I went up the elevator. While in the elevator, I put the laxatives into Paul's sandwich. He's just going to love eating this sandwich. I smiled maliciously, Paul's going to have a big surprise! In due time, I was back in Paul's office. With his sandwich in hand, I silently giggled. I hope he _loves _this sandwich!

Placing the sandwich on his desk, I sat in the opposing chair and waited. Although, I wasn't quite sure what I was waiting for. Maybe for him to actually start eating the sandwich so I can make sure that he eats the laxatives? Or maybe for him to actually acknowledge my presence? Or maybe for him to actually say thanks? I don't know, but sitting in silence is making me anxious.

As deposited all his attention on me, he scowled, "It's about time."

I don't know how I'm going to be able to work here. I can barely stand Paul. He's rude, cold, annoying, and disrespectful. Well, once I start modeling and advertising, hopefully things will get better.

When Paul started to eat his sandwich, I got an idea. Paul loves to fuck with me, so why don't I fuck with him? But I don't know if my plan is really "messing" with Paul, but rather making things feel awkward. Oh well, I'm not just going to sit here and watch him eat his sandwich.

I smirked. I wonder how Paul is going to react to this.

"Hey Paul, I know you're eating lunch, but wouldn't you rather be tasting me?"

Dropping his sandwich, he looked at me wild-eyed.

Gahhhhh…..maybe this is a bad idea. I'm so stupid. This isn't going to make Paul mad! It's just going to make him horny! Gahhhhhh! I mentally screamed. Well, at least he ate a good amount of the sandwich….meaning he's going to have to run to the bathroom in a few minutes. Hopefully, nothing bad will happen in those minutes.

With a light blush eating at his face, he attempted to regain his composure. Once he did, he smirked at me. Shit, he's going to play.

"Well you know what, Troublesome? I think the clothes you're wearing today would look better on my bedroom floor."

GAAHHHH! WHAT? Did Paul really just say that? How in the hell do I reply back to that! I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate EVERYTHING! I should have never gotten myself involved with this. Just think, Dawn! Gahhh, I never have been really good at flirting. Wait, I'm wearing lip gloss! I got an idea!

"Well, that's nice, Paul. You know, I'm wearing lip gloss…..do you want to come over here and take it off?"

He was about to reply, but he clutched his stomach and immediately ran towards the bathroom. Giggling, I felt awesome. Paul's going to have a _really _bad time in the bathroom. And thank goodness that he rushed out so quickly, I don't think I would have been able to stand that much longer. Flirting with Paul? Gahhh…worse experience _ever_.

Walking back into my own office, I sighed. This is stupid. I shouldn't be here, I should be out training. No matter how much I try to avert my attention away from coordinating, I just can't. It's my everything. Whenever I'm not doing it, I feel guilty for wasting time. And I don't think I could do anything better than wasting time as being Paul's assistant.

Okay, I just need to calm down. I just need to get my mind off things. Tunneling through my pocket, I grabbed the piece of paper with Barry's number scribbled on it.

Maybe going out clubbing with Barry might help me?


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, and favorited my story! It means soooo much and the more you do it, the faster it makes me want to update! Thanks for reading the previous chapters and I hope you will stick with me for the many more chapters to come. Here's chapter 4, I hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

* * *

><p><strong>Dawn's POV<strong>

**.**

Lazily drumming my fingers against my desk, I sighed. There is absolutely nothing to do around here. I'm not going out with Barry and Kenny until later tonight, so what do I do in the meantime? I'm actually kind of freaked out about going clubbing with them; I don't exactly enjoy random strangers coming up to me and humping my ass. Nor do I enjoy the endless challenges of taking shots or corner make-outs.

I glanced at the clock plastered on my wall. Ugh, it's going to take forever to get through today. Lazily blowing my bangs out of my face, I started to fiddle with my rings. I love my jewelry…if only I could buy more of it. At least I have this job.

I sighed again. This place may be perfectly equipped with best of furniture and appliances, but it's boring as hell! Maybe I should paint my nails? Or maybe I should actually do my job to consume time. For unknown reasons, I did the later.

Upon entering Paul's office, I gulped. He's talking with some client and he certainly _doesn't_ look too happy. Maybe I shouldn't be here.

Meeting my gaze, Paul groaned. Holding his hand to the phone, he spoke, "What do you want Troublesome?"

I shivered under his glare and broke eye-contact. "Well, I was just wondering if there was anything you needed h-help with?"

He grimaced. "No, I just need to convince this guy that I'm not a douche."

What? Paul is on the phone arguing with a client on whether or not he's a douche? Why is that even in debate? Paul's totally a douche, he's like the one cucumber in the fridge that has a little bit of mold on it, but everyone think it's cum, so know one wants it.

Fiddling with my hands behind my back, I began nervous. I really hope he doesn't make me do it. Convincing someone that Paul's not a douche wasn't in the job description.

Once he returned back to his phone call, Paul swatted his hand at me, signaling me to leave. Doing so, I returned back to my office. Sighing in contentment, my nerves were eased. However, I became bored quickly, so I took out my cell phone and started to look through my messages. Getting a new one, I became intrigued.

Ugh, it's from Kenny.

I really hope it's not another text about him winning some contest. Doesn't he realize how much he's torturing me with his gloating? He's an idiot. I guess it's jealously of how well he's done in the coordinating business, but still. Just as his red hair indicates, he's a little devil from hell.

Reluctantly, I opened the message.

**From: Kenny **

**To: Dawn**

_Hey DeDe! I'm so stoked for tonight! It's going to be so much fun! ;) Although, I'm kinda nervous…..Barry said he wants to go naked. _

No matter what how anxious I am, Barry can always make things better. It's ironic, when I was little I thought Barry was annoying as hell and Kenny was fun and sweet, but as time progressed things have changed _a lot_; it's the complete opposite now. Barry's my blonde bombshell who strives to make me laugh through his hyperactive antics while Kenny's my dahlia demon who makes me feel worthless through his burning desire to brag.

Plus, it's nearly impossible to get Kenny pissed off. Well, I have time now, so why not try? Smiling, I replied.

**From: Dawn**

**To: Kenny**

_I think he would look great naked….I wish I could say the same for you, but I can't. Maybe Viagra could help you out? _

Immediately receiving a text back, I opened it.

**From: Kenny**

**To: Dawn**

_I'd have to agree on you with that. Thanks! I knew I could always count on a friend like you for these things! And it's never awkward either! I love you so much Dawn!_

What? Ugh, I didn't even think it was possible for a guy to admit that he's 'small.' This is ridiculous! What in the hell do I say back to that? I became nervous and started to panic. I hate when someone sends you a text and you have no idea how to answer it back, so you take a long time thinking. Then when the person actually get's it, they're like 'What the hell? What took so long?' Then I have to think of a stupid excuse like 'I was in the bathroom.'

Ugh! Dawn! You're getting distracted! Just write anything back!

**From: Dawn**

**To: Kenny**

_Ummmm…..yeah? Soooooooooo… did you do any recent contests lately? _

STUPID! Ugh, I can ask him anything and I ask him about contests? Great…and I thought I was going to get him pissed off in this little texting war, but I'm going to be the angry, envious one!

**From: Kenny**

**To: Dawn**

_YEP! I used my new Pokémon, Wurmple, and despite being a low level, he was very precocious in his techniques. We won! _

What the hell? THAT IS SO UNFAIR! He uses one of the weakest bug Pokémon and _still_ wins? The only fucking move that thing knows is string shot! Are you kidding me? His allocation of luck is unbearable. I hate my life.

As I was about to reply, I got two new messages from two different people. Well, I'm glad I don't have anything to do right now, I'm so busy answering my fan mail. Fabricating my nonchalant, insignificant text messages as fan mail? Yes, that is how desperate I am.

**From: Brock**

**To: Dawn**

_Hello Dawn, _

_I hope all is going well with you. I know how much you want achieve you're dream, so don't give up! Anyway, I wanted to tell that I'm getting married! It's a miracle, I know. But this woman is amazing; I have completely fallen for her. With that said, I would like to cordially invite you to my wedding. It's going to be in Sunnyshore City a week from now and you must bring a date. _

_Cheers! _

Gahhhh! How cute! Brock finally found true love! I'm so happy for him! This is going to be so exciting, I'd love to go, but who would I bring as a date?

Saving his message, I opened my other new message.

**From: Paul **

**To: Dawn**

_I'm hungry. Do something. _

Really! Our offices are literally a couple feet away from each other and he's too lazy to get up and talk to me? Ugh, he's so frustrating to deal with. What am I going to get him anyway? I'm really not in the mood to go out and buy something for him, even though that's part of my job of being his 'secretary.' I wonder what he would do if I talked back to him? Smiling to myself, I laughed. Well, I'm going to find out. Since I'm not standing right in front of him, I won't be nervous to say something. Texting has it's advantages!

**From: Dawn **

**To: Paul**

_I really think you should lay off the carbs…..you look like you've been gaining weight. I mean you wear kind of baggy clothing, so what are you trying to say? Maybe I should find you a suitable diet instead? _

Smiling at my response, I sent it. Paul is by no means fat, he's really toned and fit, it's quite a turn on, but I'm not going to tell him _that_. He only wore baggy clothing as a child too, now it's all suits and they look scrumptious on him.

**From: Paul **

**To: Dawn**

_I don't appreciate that. How in the hell do you think I'm fat? Your stupidity amazes me. But it doesn't matter; I could really care less what you think. At least I don't have blue hair. _

**From: Dawn **

**To: Paul **

_Really, you're insulting my hair? You're a guy who has hair that's a dark shade of PINK!_

"TROUBLESOME!"

Whoops, must have pushed his boundaries a little too far!

I gasped out of alarm as Paul rammed through my office door. Seeing a fire fume in his eyes, I shivered. Gahhhh…..! Snapping my eyes shut, I froze. This is not good! I pushed Paul too far! What do I do! No, what's _he_ going to do to me?

I slumped my shoulders in fear and anticipation.

"You're not getting paid this week," he muttered.

"WHAT!" I practically yelled as I bolted out of my seat and glared at him.

The only reason I took this job was for the money; earning money was my incentive, but if Paul takes that away from me, then I'm screwed! Besides, I need that money!

Getting angry, I got up from my chair and tackled him to the ground. Gripping his back, I pleaded to him, "Please Paul don't!"

He managed to easily slip out of my grasp. Not looking at me, he spoke, "No."

Casually walking away, he headed back into his office. I feel beyond defeated, I feel _terrible_! Why did that have to happen? Why was I so stupid? GAHH! I cringed in pain as I felt the oncoming tears. I ruffled my hair in frustration ad mumbled to myself, "I mess everything up."

Getting up, I decided to leave and go meet Barry and Kenny at the club. There's no use staying here, so I might as well get there early.

As I arrived at the club, I parked myself on a bench outside. Becoming so indulged in my thoughts, I unknowingly slipped in a light nap.

* * *

><p>I was shaken when I flashed my eyes open. Wow, it's already dark! How long have I been sleeping? Gahhh, did I already miss out on all the fun with Barry? Fixating my focus on the person that woke me up, Barry, I smiled sweetly.<p>

"DAWN! This is going to be so much fun!"

Not allowing me to reply, he yanked on my hand and pulled me in line where Kenny was. Fortunately, we were only a few people away from the front, so hopefully it won't take long. I guess it was a good thing I took a nap to pass the time. But maybe I should have something more suitable to go clubbing in?

I looked at my outfit – a short black skirt, a long-sleeved red v-neck, black heels, and an assortment of silver jewelry. I suppose I could get in with this attire. Besides, I look amazing so it doesn't really matter.

Ignoring my fashion plea, I looked upon Barry and I smiled. This week may have been terrible, but I know that Barry will take me out of my doldrums.

I laughed quietly to myself as I asked him a question, "Barry! I thought you said you we're going to go naked!"

Blushing, he glared at Kenny. I guess I wasn't supposed to know that? I should have known; Kenny can never keep secrets. Stupid Kenny.

"Ummmm….well, I decided against it," he said timidly.

Smiling at his hesitation, I punched him in the shoulder and spoke, "You shouldn't tell your secrets to Kenny you know."

"Yeah, I should have learned by now."

"HEY!" Kenny screeched.

I was about to respond, but we had reached the front of the line. Barry was first and accepted in. Kenny was next and accepted in. And I was last ….and I'm _declined_? WHAT!

"Sorry, but I'm not going to be able to let you in here miss," the club owner said.

Putting my hands on my hips, I replied, "And why is that?"

"What club owner would let the Dawn Hikari in their club? Your reputation's so bad that you'll actually end up hurting the reputation of my club. Maybe if you start winning some contests, then you get access in. Now move, I have more important people to get to."

Standing in awe, I froze. My heart broke, my shoulders slumped, my eyes twitched, and my body trembled.

Why does he act like I'm a total failure? I never did _that_ bad…and besides I'm super pretty, I thought getting into clubs was just about looks.

I frowned as I continued to think of something to say back to the guy. I really don't know what to say back. I feel totally demoralized.

The guard quickly became angry at my inability to move. Pushing me aside, he growled at me, "I said leave."

Ugh, I really wish Kenny and Barry didn't have to run in there like that. Now I can't tell them happened. So much for a fun night. Although, I suppose I don't really have a choice, but to leave. With no way of contacting the boys or getting in, there's certainly no plausible reason to stay. Sighing, I walked away and thought.

I can't believe I wasn't let in there because of my _reputation_. Is the world so socially demanding that one's status determines the quality of their life? Cringing, I swallowed hard; if superficially deterring to my dream is the only way it will work, will I be willing to do it?

I mean what am I doing working at Paul's company? I may need the money, but money isn't a necessity; happiness is.

I can try to distract myself as much as I want with this job, but deep down I feel so defeated. Creating a fabricated sense of pleasure, I'm fooling myself. I know that I might have a one track mind thinking that coordinating is the one thing I can pursue to achieve acknowledgment and contentment, but I'm set on it and I'm not changing my mind. Stubborn? Yes. Stupid? I don't think so.

I feel like correlating my life with this job, correlates me to nothing. Coordinating is my identity, my passion….so even despite being a deadpan in my desired profession, I don't want to give up.

Scrunching my nose, cradling my head, and feeling the looming tears, I winced at my reality.

No body wants me. Nothing defines me.

Walking through the sidewalks of Hearthrome City while trying to fight my emotions proved to really hard.

Heartbreak: intense unhappiness or grief or in other words – my _life_. Ringing through my head, I wasn't able to get the emotion out. Sighing, I continued walking.

Upon deciding to go back to my office, I changed my course of direction. No one's there at night, so I can just sleep in my office in tranquility going unnoticed. Besides it's either my modern, fresh, welcoming office or my crappy apartment and I think the former easily wins.

As I heard the ringing of my heels clamp down on the concrete, I cringed. Every time the bottom of them crashed into the ground it's like me crashing into fate. Unwanted, I can feel the pain that my heels go through.

During my walk back to the building, I ran into a TV store. Despite being closed, the TVs displayed in front were on. Taking up the screen, was an interview with, apparently, a new coordinator that was proving to be unstoppable.

"Jennifer, at such a young age of fifteen you have managed to enter Sinnoh's Grand Festival, a record unheard of. Now how have you become such a dominant force in the coordinating circuit? What are your secrets?"

"Honestly, it's learning from mistakes. But I'm not talking about myself; I am perfect and have no flaws, so mistakes are impossible for me. No, but rather I have learned from Dawn Hikari. Now that girl has to be the biggest flop to ever grace the coordinating circuit. She just doesn't get it, does she? Just watching her tumble down this downward spiral of failure has made me realize that I need to make up for the botches she's done to the industry. She's destroying the beauty of this art and I won't allow her to do that."

"Fair enough. I'd have to agree with that statement. Well, that's all the time we have! Goodnight Sinnoh!"

Clenching my chest, I collapsed in pain. She's a fucking fifteen-year-old girl! How does she manage to get into a Grand Festival that early? It takes years of practice! Not only that, but she's only doing it because I'm such a fuck up? UGH! She's tarnishing my already infected reputation! She's the one that doesn't understand! I LOVE this art so much that it pains me to lose and I always give it my all in every contest; coordinating is my life.

Running away as fast as possible, I soon reached Paul's building. Not wanting to take the elevator, I stomped up the stairs. With tears flowing from my eyes, pain eradicating my movement, and shame crippling my thinking capacity, I collapsed and screamed.

"WHY! I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING!" As I sat on the dirty concrete of the stairwell, I leaned against the bars of the stairs and continued crying.

I dropped my head in frustration. "Why can't I be the person I want to be?"

"Troublesome?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, and favorited my story! It means soooo much and the more you do it, the faster it makes me want to update! Thanks for reading the previous chapters and I hope you will stick with me for the many more chapters to come. Here's chapter 5, I hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

* * *

><p><strong>Dawn's POV <strong>

**.**

Moving my head up to the sound of the voice, I cringed. What does Paul want? But more importantly, why is he here? Shouldn't he be training or doing paperwork?

I'm already demeaning myself by crying in a _stairwell, _but crying in front of Paul? Pathetic! If he wants to salvage my emotions, he can piss off. He doesn't understand the magnum of my struggles. Infinite funds, powerful Pokémon, obsessive fans, and a lucrative business, Paul has it all. No, Paul's _perfect_. Just being in the same room with him deflates my already tarnished ego. Perhaps, for my own well-being, I should not associate myself with him? I never will be up to par with his notoriety and I know he will be sure to show that to me with his condescending demeanor.

As I heard the crunching of his shoes collide into the gravel, I heard the dropping of my heart. Why should this be causing me so much anxiety? Well, maybe because it's Paul? Duh! I tried to stop crying, I really did, but Paul's presence just made it worse. _He_ made me feel worse, inferior. I know that I already judge myself awfully harshly, but Paul will do it to the extent that will cause me inconceivable pain. He's just bluntly ruthless. That's something that I really just don't need that right now. I'm on the edge and I truly don't want to fall off.

Hitching up in gravity, my breaths became dangerously close to hyperventilating. I hate how vulnerable am I. I hate how my emotions corrupt my mind. I _hate _feeling this way.

Once he was standing a few feet beside me, he spoke, "Troublesome, what in the hell are you doing down here?"

Not being able to make eye contact with him, I tried to stop my inflow of tears. Not being successful, I didn't respond. If I can't compose myself, then I probably won't be able to speak to him without exploding in emotions. I will not expose myself in front of him.

I heard him sigh and I gulped.

Relentlessly attempting to stop my tears, I failed again. I used the back of my sleeve to whip away the tears. Although, it didn't entirely work as my sleeve had already gotten filthy from touching the grimy stairwell floor.

I looked at Paul and cringed. Please don't yell at me, please don't! If he does, I don't think I'm going to be able to hold back anything in front of him.

Surprising, he sat down next to me and leaned against the stair railings.

What is Paul doing? Gahhh! I'm confused!

Despite the pandemonium going on inside my head, the reality of the situation was unmoving and tranquil. Eventually breaking the silence, Paul spoke, "You're quite the interesting creature, Troublesome. You're not only pathetic, but lamentable as a human. Which merits discussion, why in the fuck should you work for me?"

Clenching my fists, my knuckles whitened. Narrowing my eyes, my mascara smudged. Biting my tongue, my lips creased. I was already on the verge of a break down, but now I'm past that. I'm not a mess. I'm a _disaster_.

My emotions took over and I didn't refuse, I couldn't. There are times where some things hurt so much that I have no option but to give into despair, to allow myself to slip down that dark path

I bolted away from Paul. Fire eradicating the tears in my eyes, they were no longer blurry. However, the blurriness of my glossy eyes condescended onto my perception.

"Just WHO do you think you are? You know what? I KNOW I'm pathetic, okay? I'm know that I'm a worthless piece of shit. I KNOW!" I hysterically cried.

The cracking of my voice made me feel even weaker. However, I ignored the minor inconvenience and continued, "You don't understand me. You _never_ will. You only see my faults, but my ambition and drive far out number any failure."

Why can't I just be **happy? **

As I was about to walk away, Paul spoke, "You know, it's not over when you lose, it's over when you quit."

I faced him. How could such yielding words come out of his mouth? My jaw dropped out of surprise and I made direct eye-contact with him.

"What are you talking about?"

He smirked. "You know, Troublesome, you're really easy to figure out. You show all your emotions, all your weaknesses, all your _troubles_. You want people to feel bad for your situation. You want sympathy, but all you get is ignorance. You are a nuisance to others."

Just when I thought Paul had some decency, he spoiled it. I scrunched my nose and snapped back, "I hate you."

"No you hate the idea of me. You hate that the perfection I emit is something that you'll never achieve. You're envious of my success."

Shaking, I trembled. W-What is Paul getting at? Why is he being so…so….why is he being such an ass? Although, why is his words _comforting_?

I barely whispered back, "I don't k-know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do, you're just too ashamed to admit it. Why does it really even matter though? You're at your lowest point in life, so what will a little more shame do?"

Not have the capability to control my anger, I lashed out, "You know what a little more shame will do? It will destroy me. I have nothing, I am nothing. If I choose to accept more shame, guilt, and suffering in my life, I'm not sure what I will do. I used to be a happy, bubbly girl, but I don't know where that went. I don't where _I _went."

I broke down in tears. There's no going back now. I gave into my distress and collapsed to the ground in pain.

Not knowing how to reply to my course of action, he stuttered, "Troublesome, s-stop crying."

"Y-You're t-the one who did this to me!" I said through broken tears.

"Listen, I was trying to have you understand your perception of reality. In order to move forward, you need to understand that. Right now your mind if just fucking everything up."

"Why are you even h-here?"

Scowling at my answer, he didn't reply.

I felt another rush of emotions coming on. Crap! I snapped my eyes shut and whispered something, "I just want to be happy."

Not waiting for his reply, I dashed out of the stairwell and ran through the streets of Hearthrome. Wind blaring hair and wiping my tears away, I felt invigorated. However, the feeling was fleeting. Once I ran out of air, I collapsed in exhaustion and scolded myself.

What is the matter with me?

Why can't I get what I want?

What do I have to do in order to do so?

Is it even possible to achieve happiness anymore?

Is it plausible that my soul is capable of redemption?

I really wish I had my Pokémon right now. They might be a distraction to assuage my emotions, to momentarily fabricate a false sense of propriety, but it's better than nothing. I mean if I didn't have them then I would be completely useless. Paul might see me that way, but my Pokémon don't. My Pokémon store hope, love, and approval in me. They have been the only ones to do so and I am very fortunate for that.

However, what I don't understand is what was Paul trying to do back there? If he was trying to make me feel better, he failed. Although, when I was at his place, he did have that picture of me and he did help me out. Is it possible that he _likes_ me?

But then THAT'S not even possible; we're _polar opposites_.

As I slowly got up, I sighed. Aimlessly walking through the street, I disregarded reality and indulged into my own realm of reality. In the process of doing so, I wasn't aware that there was a truck coming right at me!

Eventually gaining knowledge of such, I freaked out. My mind stopped working, my heart momentarily paused, but my nerves were on an overload.

I couldn't move and it scared the shit out of me.

"Oh my God! GAHH! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!" I yelled frantically.

Unfortunately, wasting my time freaking out, I didn't manage to evade the oncoming truck, but somehow I didn't manage to get hurt.

Opening my eyes, Paul was on top of me! What! Did he actually _save_ me? He actually cared? WHAT! I don't understand! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

I gazed into Paul's eyes and felt my heart explode.

_He…saved…me? _

When I heard him groan, I snapped out of my thoughts. GAHH! I may have not been the one who got hurt, but he did! His right foot didn't manage to get out of the way quick enough and got ran over!

Paul seemed to ignore his pain as he put his hands besides my head and lowered himself into me.

GAHHH! What is going on! Why am I lying in the middle of the street with Paul on me and I'm staring into his eyes! Why do I like this? Why is Paul so cute?

If my brain wasn't able to properly think before, now any thinking capacity was cut off and I was left with my instincts. In affect, my instincts had a growing desire to _kiss_ Paul. Feeling his light breaths on my cheek, feeling him on top of me, feeling his warmth, I decided. Paul _deserves_ a kiss. Is this desire out of the spontaneity from him saving me or attraction? Why do I even want to kiss him? He was being an ass five minutes ago. Why should it even matter? Not wanting to think, I completely cut off my intuition.

I broke our little staring contest with my lips. Although, that wasn't enough – I wanted him closer so cupped his cheeks and pulled his face into mine. My lips swirled into a satisfied smile when he returned the kiss back with his own forceful kiss.

Defiantly delicious.

His mouth is like a heaven of….delectability? Not caring, I continued the kiss. Latching one of my hands onto his neck, I allowed my fingers to explore his hair. Returning my infectivity, he started to deepen the kiss.

Finally gripping onto reality, realization sunk in. I'm kissing Paul and he's kissing back! WHAT IS GOING ON!

I broke the kiss which caused him to glare at me which made ME confused. Did he enjoy that? Not wanting to stay around to find out, I hastily bolted out from under him and left. What gave me the motive to kiss Paul? What gave_ him_ the motive to kiss back? Why did I like it? Did he like it? What am I going to do when I go back to work?

Running through the streets, now fully aware of the traffic, I thought through my thoughts.

I just don't understand anything right now! If anything, I'm more confused than when I started! I'm so stupid!

Once I found a deserted park, I sat down against a tree and cried **again. **When I finished, I realized something.

"OMFG! I left Paul in the middle of the street with a broken foot! STUPID!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, and favorited my story! It means soooo much and the more you do it, the faster it makes me want to update! Thanks for reading the previous chapters and I hope you will stick with me for the many more chapters to come. Here's chapter 6, I hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it! **

**Anyone who reviews gets a hug ;D But you must be clean and smell nice and perhaps look like Paul xD Otherwise, you get an awkward handshake…..xD I love you all dearly and appreciate you for following this story! This is an intense chapter, so you all better buckle up! But hopefully you're not in a car reading this...I don't anyone to crash unless you're amazing and can do both at once xD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

* * *

><p><strong>Dawn's POV <strong>

**.**

I can't believe my stupidity. I don't know who I am anymore. I kissed Paul and now I'm running back to save him from foolishly leaving him in the street.

I simply _can't_ drape my head around the fact it may be possible that I _like_ Paul. However, there are logical reasons to explain my actions – my emotions were scattered and heated from almost dying so I irrationally made a senseless decision. It was nothing more than that. Even thinking about the possibility of liking him is stupid.

Ugh, why am I even thinking about this right now? I just have to save Paul! I may not have the finest relationship with him, but I wouldn't just allow him _die_ in the streets. That's not me.

As I frenetically ran through the streets to the place where I last left him, I panicked at my sluggish speed.

I have to take these heels off!

Once I did so, my velocity instantly elevated.

Why am I so worried about Paul's safety? Why … am ….. I ….. worried ….. about….. _Paul_? I frowned. Ugh, just stop thinking and get there! Recklessly running in and out of people proved to be an incredibly irksome feat. Can't people move out of the way? They see a person running head on into them and_ don't_ move? What the hell? Is my luck that awful or are people around here just really rude?

Eventually, I reached Paul. Due to my uneasiness, I averted my eyes off of him as I put my heels back on. Okay….what do I do now? I'm not really in the best mental frame of mind to cheer Paul up. I suppose the only reasonable thing to do would be to help him out.

I put one foot in front of the other. The crunch sound that my heel made every time it collided into the gravel made me shiver. As the noise reverberating through the crisp air, I sighed in discomfort. Why is it so hard to walk all of a sudden? Why am I so jumpy? I anxiously gulped. I will not further represent my weakness to him. I _already_ did that with my crying tantrum. I can't let him think that I'm mentally challenged or something. I need to compose myself.

Once I was in back of him, I nervously ran a hand through my hair. He's just lying there – motionless and helpless.

Paul _vulnerable_.

The image itself was almost equivalent to that of my worst contests failures. He's passed out – my mind never ceases to grow numb out of humiliation and ultimately I _choose_ pass out to escape my flops. His looks dead – not achieving what I want and getting the exact opposite, I always _feel _dead. His clothes are dirty and his hair is ruffled – my career is dirty and my life is ruffled. Ugh, why am I making such a comparison? I need to get a grip!

I scolded myself. I know that my life is certainly not where I want it to be, but now is really not the time to be thinking about that.

Upon leaning down next to Paul, I nudged him causing him to stir uncomfortably. He looked rather cute in his sleeping face. Disregarding that fact, I deeply breathed and focused. In the process of gaining his thinking competence back, he flickered his eyes and rubbed his face. After remembering the predicament he was in, he glared at me.

Shit, _not good_! He's going to be furious! UGH! I'm so stupid! I really don't want Paul to yell at me!

"What the hell were you thinking leaving me in the middle of the road with a broken foot? What kind of shit was that?" he growled at me.

I couldn't make eye-contact with him. Leaving him behind was the stupidest idea I could have ever done. Now he's going to take his rage out on me. Great!

Nervously gulping, I replied, "P-Paul, I'm really sorry. I've just haven't been thinking properly and been dealing with a bunch of hard things in my life. I-I s-so sorry. You just caught me of guard and…"

"Bullshit. And I'm tired of the hard things you keep talking about. Get over it. You are a failure in coordinating, everyone knows it. Don't try to deny it. You can keep convincing yourself of someday ultimately making it to the top, but that's never going to happen. This isn't some damn dream world where you can dwindle your days away attempting to achieve something that's never going to happen, you're in reality and reality will leave you behind," he snapped.

All Paul had to do was ask for me to get him out of his situation, but instead he insults me and tells me to find a new career?

_That really hurt._

I fell terrible, indispensible under his glare. Why did he have to go that far? I…I hate him. Feeling the tears sting my eyes and the anxiety twisting my stomach into a knot, I felt like throwing up. I felt like dying. Once I pushed the tears out of my eyes, I timidly looked at him. I felt like lashing out at him. I felt like yelling. I felt like destroying him. Although, my ability was thwarted due to my instability and insecurity at the moment. I was helpless and I didn't like that.

Please…..give me a break Paul.

"P-Paul, I'm s-sorry for being worthless to you. I guess I'll try harder," I weakly said.

I hate being like this – all I seem to be doing nowadays is crying. My heart is always damaged. My mind is always fogged. My eyes are always red.

As I met Paul's gaze, there was something different. His face softened. "Whatever, just help me up Troublesome."

How did his demeanor change so quickly? He was just yelling at me and now he's all calm. Does Paul feel bad for me? Does he feel pitiful? Does he care?

Ignoring my thoughts, I crouched down and helped Paul up. Once we came in contact with one another, I blushed. He's _so_ warm.

With Paul on my arm, in only took a matter of minutes before we reached the sidewalk. Since I'm still technically in work hours, I'm still his secretary so I still have to do what he wants.

He wanted to go to eat at a restaurant.

Really? He has a broken foot and just wants to disregard the pain? If he thinks that makes him come off as a badass well he's wrongly mistaken, he comes off as an idiot. I didn't argue with him though. He already made me feel like shit once and I don't want it to happen again. I don't think I can reach an inferior low at this point. I think I've reached rock bottom with him. To think that I considered the prospect of _liking_ him? Ridiculous, besides Paul would never like me.

As I took a heavy breath, I slightly eased my worries.

Walking in sync proved to be very difficult, but eventually we made it to the restaurant that Paul requested. Once we sat down at our table, things were worse than awkward, they were _really_ uncomfortable.

I can't look at Paul.

I can't talk to Paul.

I can't think properly.

I feel like having a breakdown.

As desperation and anxiety ate at me, I nervously started to fiddle with the napkin folder. Right now, I'm in urgent need of finding something to distract me. Apparently, my task of fiddling with the napkin dispenser irritated the hell out of Paul. I stopped and put my hands in my lap.

I need to cry like now. And there's no way I'm doing in front of Paul.

As I was about to excuse myself from the table, Paul yanked me back down.

"You have some serious mental problems Troublesome. What the hell is the matter with you?"

I made eye-contact with Paul and shivered. Why does _he_ care? All he wants to do is make me feel like a piece of crap. Why do I want to tell him? They do say that talking out your problems helps to ease the anxiety and stress behind them, but certainly Paul can't assuage my complications. Can he?

I gazed at Paul. I just don't care anymore; I _need_ someone to talk to.

Cradling my head, I let my eyes become glossy and my dignity drop. "I-I don't k-know what to do with my life," I said shakily. It's a fact: my voice is going to be cracked this whole time; I won't be able to compile myself. Paul is going to look down at me.

My fists clenched. "I love coordinating so m-much, but I h-hate it at the same t-time. It's d-destroying me." I drooped my eyes. The reluctance I had to admit that overcame me for years – I didn't want to see the truth, I wanted to filter it.

I looked at Paul. He looked the same – unaffected by my words – but I continued anyway, "I _loath_ failing. I t-thought that coordinating was my shine to fame, but it just _isn't_. I'm consumed by stress, I'm never happy. I-I d-don't know what to do anymore."

I paused and rubbed my eyes. "I'm nothing, but a worthless piece of g-garbage that no one wants."

I mentally collapsed. I'm beyond a hot mess, I'm a burnout. I can't understand anything anymore. I'm so confused.

I can't do this. I can't believe myself. I'm just lying to myself. Contradictions of denial, that is all.

I need to get away. As I made a rash decision, I bolted out of the restaurant and left Paul behind. It's not like he'd care anyway.

Running, just running, I need to escape everything. I want to get out of this daze I'm in. Sentimental virtue of my passion? I believe I lack that now. I sadly frowned.

Four simple, yet haunting words now comprise my identity: I hate my life.

All I know is darkness though all I want is brightness.

I kept running until I reached a torn down bar. I've never got shit-faced before, but now would be the perfect opportunity to do so. Alcohol will be my key to the numbness that I'm in desperate need of.

As I walked into the neglected bar, I instantly became nervous. Maybe this wasn't the greatest idea. Sprawled around the bar are bulking looked men whom of which are all either smoking weed or doing cocaine. Not good. There are various things broken and blood plastered on a variety of objects. Defiantly not good. An old man eying me from across the room didn't help the situation either.

Regardless, going against my intuition, I got a drink. Fate _hates_ me. It's undeniable, so why not help it out?

I sat down at the bar and gulped. Retracting myself from the rest of the people there, I made sure that if I was to get drunk, I'd keep to myself. I don't want to interact with anyone else here. I want to be left alone. Ironic, I've always yearned for company, but now in my lowest points, I want no one.

My eyes twitched with water. This is what I've resorted to – I've labeled my life as a failure and now I'm just further feeding into it. Some chat I had with Paul, he didn't even say something nor do anything! I gulped again. Why have I given into this demon? Your mind is your worst enemy and I have fallen under it's spell. I'm trapped, hopelessly enslaved. I just don't care anymore. Besides my looks, I have nothing. Regardless, that's so superficial; if I have to resort to my looks, then I'm done as an individual.

I stared at the shot of vodka.

I downed the shot of vodka.

My mind fizzed. I feel _good_. Maybe I have been dead wrong all my life. Maybe the art of pleasure is based upon alcoholism.

I ordered another drink.

I downed that one too.

Once I reached a number of drinks, perhaps about twelve or so, I started to slip into a different mental state – a frame of mind that I've never experienced. A realm where nothing matters, where anything is possible, and where everything is funny – the portal that drinking takes you to. Maybe I should do this more often.

* * *

><p>Waking up in a random room with your mind completely devoid of any past events and a throbbing headache is chilling thing, a bad thing.<p>

"What happened?" I barely whispered to myself as I rubbed my agonizing head.

My eyes scanned the room. Why does this room look familiar? Bolting out of the bed, I headed for the drawer that looked too recognizable. Resting inside was the same picture of me.

I gasped; I'm in Paul's house again?

How does this keep happening? What is he trying to get across? I know he doesn't care about me so there must be another reason behind his antics! He must be planning something. Maybe he somehow found out that I put the laxatives in his sandwich and now he's getting revenge or something.

"Troublesome, don't look through my stuff."

Gahhh! I froze. I _am_ in Paul's house! Crap! Quickly shoving the picture back in and closing the drawer, I looked at him.

His face was unreadable and that just made me more worried.

"Why did you help me out again? I don't get you. How is your foot fine?" I blurted out.

He scoffed, "What's not to get? You're one of the most prized possessions at my company now. I can't let you run off and do stupid things. I'm not going to let you corrupt my business. And my foot was just strained, not broken."

I sadly sighed. To think that he actually _cared_. And why does it matter if I corrupt his business? He still has his renowned, prestigious position as Sinnoh's Grand Champion. Paul can't get everything he wants. That's clearly not fair. His foot didn't even get broken! What kind of luck is that?

"Whatever," I mumbled back to him.

"You know if you're suicidal, I'm going to have to keep a better watch on you."

"WHAT!" I screeched

He smirked. What in the hell is he talking about? "Last night you did some pretty questionable things, Troublesome. You probably don't remember though."

"But I was drunk, how does that count?"

"Troublesome, when you drink your actions become heightened and show your actual feelings as well as release them."

I'm suicidal? Never. That word is foreign to me. There is no way that I would have done anything that coincided with the word _suicidal_. That's not me.

When Paul walked over to me, I tensed. "Troublesome what is your damn problem? You get one of the best fucking jobs you could ever ask for and you retaliate? You the hell is your deal?"

"I-I don't know," I said weakly causing him to roll his eyes and fold his arms. "You don't understand. Coordinating has been my life and I can't just be rid of that no matter the pain. I know nothing else."

"Troublesome you are unbelievable."

I clenched my hands and scrunched my nose. "You don't know what you're talking about! Just get away from me Paul! I hate you!"

My voice cracked. Crap.

I backed up and collided into the wall. I'm stuck between Paul and this wall now…_not good_!

"That's it. Troublesome you are in some fucking denial here. I never knew that your mind was so screwed up. I can't have you work for me like this. This is ending know. We're getting to the bottom of this," he said as the inched himself towards me.

"SHUT UP PAUL!" I violently cried.

I don't want to face the truth. I don't want to see the reality. I'm perfectly fine the way I am.

Paul placed both hands up against the wall, pinning me in. With his eyes blazing into mine, I mentally panicked.

"Before you fucking have compassion for anyone or anything you have to give compassion to yourself, Troublesome. You missed that. You entirely screwed that up. You don't understand how things work. Failure is not a fact, it's a perception. Your view on life just bogs this down, making you narrowly thinking about for the future."

I felt his heavy breaths on my face. I felt his intensity. I felt his eyes look into my soul. I felt his anger.

I didn't like it.

Through tears, I responded, "That's NOT true."

My body trembled, my mind trembled; I became a ticking time bomb.

Paul snarled, "Troublesome, you are so one-track minded and stubborn. Would you get a damn grip? You have to understand this. Stop it with the coordinating shit and open a different way in your life, a one where success is actually guaranteed. Wishes and desires are not the same damn thing, Troublesome. You can create a better future for yourself, you can become famous through a different sight. Why don't you want this? Get it through your head: your coordinating career is over."

"Paul, please stop!" I pleaded. I can't take this anymore.

Paul's face was literally inches away from mine and I gulped.

"Damn it Troublesome."

I looked at him with blurry eyes. "W-Why does it matter? I have no one. I have nothing. There's no use in trying any more. I just n-need to give up. There's no remedy for me."

Paul snarled again in anger, "You don't know anything Troublesome. The only antidote for your shame is true humility. You have surpassed that. You have to get it through your thick skull that pride is not the opposite of shame, but a source."

I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand the _truth_ behind his words. I won't believe it.

I looked at him in distress and escaped his grasp. As I was about to run away, he snatched my wrist and pulled me into him. Once his hands latched onto my waist, he headed no time to waste and attacked my lips with his.

We kissed – _passionately_.

I tried to ignore the feeling of pleasure, I desperately tried. Allowing my anger to dissolve into gratification, I dived into the kiss. I pulled onto his hair as a curled my legs around his waist. Slipping my tongue into his mouth, I angrily started to kiss him. Paul took my initiative as a plus and started to get dominant. Pulling my clothes off and grabbing my ass, we began to get really physical with one another.

I may be intertwining my anger into lust. I may be using this as an outlet. But one thing is for sure, I have no idea what's going on.

As we slowly made our way over to the bed, realization slowly slinked in.

"Troublesome," he moaned as he sucked on my neck.

Is Paul trying to get some? Is he using me? I've already been used enough as bait in the tabloids. I don't need Paul to use me as some sex toy for his desires. I'm not a slut and don't give into _anyone_.

I grabbed his head and glared at him. As he was about to go in and kiss me again, I slapped him _hard_.

He was stunned as he grasped his cheek.

We sat in silence until I jumped off the bed and ran out of his room. As I was about to leave the premises of his room, but his voice stopped me, "Troublesome, what the hell?"

"Y-You're just trying to use me. T-This is a-all just an act," I said as my voice cracked.

"I'm not using you. I just was in the moment."

My jaw dropped as I wiped away some tears.

"That's NOT what I meant," he snapped back.

I dashed out of his room. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I can't deal with this. Paul is a piece of work.

I clutched my stomach as I collapsed to the floor. Why do I feel this way?

When Paul appeared behind me, I silently cursed. "Troublesome, I didn't mean it that way. I just….I…just…. I don't know. Alright, I don't know why I did that. I just didn't want to see you that way and I wanted to somehow make you feel better. I wanted to do it. I wanted to kiss you," he replied to me.

I turned around and looked at him.

_He's lying. _

Running away from him, I escaped into his bathroom. As I managed to evade Paul's grasp. I locked the bathroom door and sighed contently.

"TROUBLESOME! Open this door right NOW!" Paul yelled as he pounded on the outside of the bathroom door.

"GOD DAMN IT!"

I don't want to hear Paul right now. To fix my problem, I turned on the sink faucet and the shower faucet to drown out the noise of Paul banging on the door. Once I finished, I sat on the toilet seat and crying hard.

"I HATE EVERTYHING!" I screamed to myself. Why do people say that screaming makes you fell better? It doesn't, I just feel worse.

I got up off the toilet set and put my hands on the sink counter. When I looked in the mirror I saw something different.

I saw the _real_ me.

All these years, I have been ignorant of my feelings. Shoving them down into the deepest parts on my brain, I have lost myself. I'm not even sure if I know what the true meaning of happiness is anymore. The competition of coordinating has _destroyed_ me. The thing I have loved the most has _destroyed_ me. I don't understand the logic behind that.

As I looked back into the mirror, I sighed.

My eyes are now filled with fear and confusion.

My smile never truly appears anymore.

I may look the same to a stranger – that beautiful girl with a smile always on her face – but deep down I'm the complete opposite.

How have I fallen so quickly? I used to be original, unforgettable, but now I'm gone. I don't understand what happened and I don't like it.

I frowned in the mirror. No, I'm still the same Dawn! I can't confuse myself. I can't convince myself otherwise. "I'm still the SAME!" I yelled hysterically. My hysterical anger quickly grew and I soon became out on control. Snatching a comb off the counter, I threw it at the mirror. At contact, it shattered into thousands of pieces. Why does this make me even madder? Is it because the mirror symbolizes my life? The mirror's gone now…so am I. It's shattered and confused…..so am I. UGH! HELL NO!

"NO!" I shrieked loudly.

I collapsed to the floor in pain. Why do I do this to myself? Why is my life like this? I try and I get nowhere. Is my destiny truly that bad? Do I even have a destiny?

I cried in agony.

Attempting to reach my hand up to open the door handle, I managed to do it. When the door swung open, I fell to the floor.

"Troublesome, what the hell?"

Due to my abnormally high levels of stress, I passed out once I saw Paul.

* * *

><p>I awoke in Paul's bedroom again. Great. Now this is going to start all over. I hit my head against his pillow and sighed.<p>

As I was about to drift off into sleep, Paul entered the room and spoke, "That was a pretty stupid move you did in the bathroom."

I ignored the comment and dug my face into his pillow and replied, "Go away."

He laughed, "This is my damn house, Troublesome. I can kick your ass out when ever I desire."

I grew irritated. Throwing the sheets off the bed, I looked at him. "Then WHAT do you want Paul, huh? I am in a really bad place right now, okay? You want me to admit that I'm a stupid failure? Then fine, I am, okay? I admit it! You don't have to further insult be and be rude. I just can't deal with that right now. And if you want to complain on how much I've been crying, then go ahead. I'm just so fed up with you."

He frowned. "Why can't you just be damn thankful that you have a new job, one that actually has a future and stop being such a baby about it? I'm trying to help you here, Troublesome. Why can't you understand that?"

Paul's trying to help me? _What?_ Does he mean it?

"I-I really don't k-know Paul, I-I'm so confused and h-hurt. I-I j-just don't k-know anymore," I said weakly.

I then broke down into tears again.

Paul looked at me with a softened look in his eye causing my insides to turn. Why is he having this effect on me? Why am I allowing it?

I don't care anymore. I going to do want I want; I going to admit that I need help. I crawled over to Paul, who sat on the bed, and embraced him. Not expecting it, Paul tensed up.

As I looked up from his chest, I spoke, "P-Paul I n-nneed your h-help. I'm so c-confused."

I'm putting myself out on the ledge here and I hope that Paul doesn't push me away. I want Paul's help; I want him to help me get my life back on track.

Once he made eye-contact with me, he stuttered back, "F-Fine."


	7. Chapter 7

**I love you all very much for following this story! Thanks for reading the previous chapters and here's chapter seven!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

* * *

><p><strong>Dawn's POV <strong>

**.**

I don't know anything anymore – neither my identity nor my goals. Not being able to differentiate or distinguish the things that truly give my life meaning is a very bad thing. I have become persuaded by the echoes in my head – echoes that relentlessly nag me for my stupid task of letting go. My inability to thwart this unruly guilt trip has only furthered made shameful feelings of regret manipulate my soul. I'm corrupted with malleability.

I am way past being lost, I feel empty. I feel terribly numb.

Realization of knowing that you lost is a horrid feeling. Better yet, knowing that you _gave up_ in that desired goal is even worst. Though, I'd like to think that I didn't do the latter; I'd like to think that I did the right thing; I'd like to think that Paul will hopefully be right.

I shivered and bit my nails. I _really_ hope that Paul is right.

Though, the thing that I'm petrified at is not knowing of what's to come – the inevitable unknown makes me feel terrible. I swallowed hard. Blackness is the only thing that coincides with my life now. I now roam the surface like another drug mulled ghost.

I plainly hate myself.

Coordinating was my thing. It was the only thing that I wished for, the only thing that gave me a reason to wake up, the only thing that I ever worked at. But why did I allow it to so easily slip through my fingers? Why did I allow myself to get eloped into such a demon?

I blew my bangs out of my face and frowned. That's obvious – the strive for perfection.

I was so far from reaching a higher magnum of coordinating, yet I attempted to. The prospect of wanting to achieve _perfection_ – it annihilated me.

As I burrowed my eyebrows I silently cursed. Technically, I didn't give up; Paul forced me to for the supposed idea that it would help cure my insanity.

With my anger rising and the vigorous grasp of my palms to the bed sheets beneath me, the silk material started to seep between my fingers. Paul is genuinely trying to help me. No, he _wants_ to help, but then why do I still feel terrible? Ugh, I hate this! Damn it Dawn, get a grip!

Stopping the confused, oncoming tears, I breathed deeply. I can't afford to cry right now – despite having a really bad urge to do so – because Paul is in the room right next to this one. Out of Paul's generosity to help me, which I still can't entirely figure out, he let me stay over for the night in his guest room. It was only two hours ago when I confessed my soul to him, my, as he called it, "mental instability for life."

From sadly sighing to rolling around in the bed, I just couldn't manage to sleep. I'm _so_ scared that I'm making the wrong choice, that maybe I just need a break from coordinating. How is Paul even going to help me out? Ugh, this isn't going to be easy.

I stared at the ceiling and fiddled with the silver chain draped around my neck. _My necklace. _Heart-shaped, golden, and beautiful, it withholds an engraved message. Upon titling my neck forward, I scolded myself. I _shouldn't_ read that message; it will only make me feel worse.

Due to boredom, I gave in. **Bad idea.**

_**Never Ever Give Up **_

"UGH! Why'd I do that?" I cried to myself.

The sheets of the bed only worsened my irritability. As I tried to unravel myself from them, I failed. What the hell is the matter with Paul's bed? Eventually, with force, I managed to disentangle the sheets from my body.

Once I was out of Paul's guest room, I stood in front of his room.

I raised my fist to the door….and….was….about….to…knock. NO! I can't even spend two hours without crying back to him? _I am pathetic_. All I need to do is to think on my own! I can't be so stupid!

From gaining a realization on what to do – getting away from Paul's door – I, unexpectedly, was unable to do so. It was as if my feet were plastered to the ground and I suddenly blacked out, yet it was the total opposite. I am completely aware of my surroundings and motions, but I simply don't want to leave the proximity of Paul's door. I want to talk to him; I need to talk him.

As my lips curled in uncertainty I anxiously trembled. I silently growled at my insecurity and banged my head against his door.

My eyes grew in size.

Shit! I just _hammered_ my head against his door and he had to of heard that! Shit! GAH! As I was about to leave the premises of Paul's outer facing door, I was unable to do so because Paul was right in front of me. With composure of slumped arms, trembling legs, and maximized eyes, I suited on an anxiety level close to its climax.

He arched his eyebrow at me and spoke, "You know, the most relevant indication that can deem or decipher one's insanity is standing in front of a door at three o'clock in the middle of the night. What the hell are you doing, Troublesome?"

I ignored his words and blushed.

Paul – a half naked one at that – is standing right in front of me. No shirt, just sweats. My eyes glazed over his chest and intensified in curiosity. How does he manage to stay _so_ in shape? As he continued to question me of my late night pondering, I continued to gawk. It wasn't until I stepped out of my gaze when I noticed that he was wearing socks. Paul wears socks to bed? That's kind of weird.

"Why do you wear socks to bed?" I blurted out.

As he was about to speak, he gave me a confused look then spoke, "What?"

"Why do you wear socks to bed?" I repeated, eagerly wanting to know the answer for some reason that was unknown to me.

"Ughhhh….well, my feet get cold, but that's not what we're even talking about! Pay attention, Troublesome. Now, what the hell are you doing here?"

Paul's feet get cold at night? I giggled. That's so cute!

Upon getting irritated, Paul pulled on my arm and looked me in the eye. Under his glare, I lost consciousness. His light breathes prickled my skin with their velvet texture. His onyx eyes glimmered into mine making me whimper. I solely focused on him. I solely felt his intensity.

"What is the matter?" he barely uttered.

Eye contact was made. Hands linked were initialized. Close bodies were apparent.

I frowned and he scowled. Without delay, disregarding the repercussions, I embraced him. The hug was warm and heartfelt – simmering through disparity and idiocy, I let everything go. Tears were indispensible at this point and I allowed them access.

As I hugged him tighter, I mumbled against his chest, "P-Paul….I-I can't sleep. I-I am so a-afraid of everything. I am so m-miserable."

Feeling him place his chin on the top of my head, I sighed contently that he didn't reject my plea for help. If he were to do so, I think that I would have been completely torn apart. I just really need someone right now.

"P-Paul, I know you want to h-help me, but I don't think I can r-reach h-happiness."

I clenched his shirt and pressed his body further into mine, which was already pretty close.

I was about to say something else, but I didn't. Paul had picked me up and placed me in _his bed_. Eyes glowering in fear, I shivered uncontrollably. Upon sitting on his bed I became very self-conscious and pulled his satin sheets up to my chin in attempt to get more comfortable. I failed.

He slowly made his way to the opposing side of the bed then sat down next to me. I looked at him questionably. He averted eye contact. An indication of his apprehension, his twiddling thumbs, he fell silent which ensued a disentitling sensation in the room. What is Paul doing? Why do I feel more at ease in his presence?

Once I managed to get a grip, I spoke up, "Paul….. ugh…. what are you doing?"

He jumped under the covers and rolled over, allowing me no access to his facial expressions. "Just… sleep here," he mumbled with hesitation. What! How is me sleeping on his bed going to make me feel any better? Does Paul want to sleep with me? GAH! But why do I want to? GAH!

Not wanting to attack Paul with questions, I went under the sheets as well and lay on the bed. Once I started to stare at the ceiling, my mind started to trail off. What gave Paul a reason to do that? Although, more importantly, why do I feel better? Toying with my necklace, my anxieties started to rise.

"Hey Paul?" I whispered as I poked his back.

"What?" he muttered through his pillow.

"Why are you helping me?"

He turned over and came face to face with me. "I need you to be able to think properly as our spokesperson and with a mentality like yours, I've got a lot of work," he snapped.

"Oh," I sighed sadly as my eyes drooped.

What made me think that Paul actually _wanted_ to help me out with my life? Maybe everything earlier was just an act? Maybe his team put him behind it? Maybe he really doesn't want to admit the actual reason behind it? Maybe he doesn't know how?

Thereafter, I frowned at Paul's direction then crawled out of the satin heaven bed. Just as my stomach started to curl in disappointment, I lurched backwards, away from his room. "I don't think sleeping here is going to help me," I hardly mumbled.

Essentially running out of his room – in due to prominence of undefined confusion – I despairingly collapsed. By nature, Paul just _had_ to follow my suit and in a matter of seconds, he appeared in front of me.

He scoffed at me, "Troublesome, what the fuck?"

In the process of scampering away from him, I stopped and fixated my eyes on his. I mumbled some incoherent words which only made his scowl intensify. He grumbled irately and pulled on me.

Serving as a threat not to disrupt his plan, I nervously allowed him to lead me to wherever he was taking me – which was currently en route to his garage.

He went in and switched on the light. An assortment of high caliber cars was littered across the garage, seeming to glow out of pure preeminence. Without squandering a second, he dragged me into one of his luxury cars and drove off. The car ride was eerily silent and I didn't want to be the one to spoil that. Paul drove at a hasty rapidity, causing me to grip the defined black leather of the interior.

When we arrived at Paul's desired destination I scrunched my nose in puzzlement.

Why are we at a _playground_?

Once I got out of the car, a wave of insecurities rushed onto me due to my nakedness. Clothed with just a bra and short-shorts – my sleeping attire – I felt entirely exposed. What if some rapist tries to capture me? GAH! Paul's lack of clothing doesn't help either. With just sweats and socks, some horny woman might try to steal him! Crap!

I looked at Paul, who just locked the car, and spoke, "Paul! What are we doing here?"

"You obviously need to chill the hell out. You need some fun, so I brought you here. Go wild."

WHAT! Obviously, I know that I'm in desperate need of having fun to remedy my despair, but this certainly isn't anywhere near the standards of achieving that. What the hell is the matter with Paul? I walked up to him, which was slightly awkward due to the height difference that gave him a full view of my breasts from just being in a bra, and scoffed, "Paul, what the hell were you thinking? I'm not a four-year-old. A playground won't make be happy! Is this what you do to get happy? Go to random playgrounds in the middle of the night?"

His posture hardened and he frowned. "Shit, Troublesome. I don't know, alright? With your intelligence, you seemed like the kind of person who'd like goofing off at a playground."

I stomped my foot in frustration and blared my eyes into his. "You're so annoying and you don't know anything, _Paul_. Happiness is one of the hardest things to achieve, far harder than accruing money or fame, so you're going to have to do better than that."

As he rolled his eyes at my little tantrum, he replied, "Fine, then what _does_ make you happy?"

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. What makes me … _happy_? I gulped…..I don't know. "I d-don't know if anything can make me h-happy," I stuttered nervously. Is it possible that I spent my whole life composed of coordinating that I don't know anything else but that? To the point where happiness is in evasion of my life?

"There must be something," he casually mumbled as he fiddled with his car keys.

My mind strewed through all the various options of attaining happiness. It took a minute before acknowledging that I found nothing. In all respect to my Pokémon – who are an endearment to me – I sometimes need something more substantial than just that. I relocked my eyes onto Paul's and something clicked. It may not be ensure any quantity of happiness or amount to anything, but kissing Paul last night made me feel… enthralled. I had _actually_ felt something besides being nervous or depressed.

Paul's lips moving against my lips sounds like _fun_.

I looked at my feet and kicked some dirt clogs. "Ugh, well there is one thing."

"What?" he said, sounding very uncaring and bored.

Just as my eyes laid themselves upon Paul's face, they instantly latched onto his lips. I blushed viciously. Under the assumption that Paul hates me only made matters worse. I could possibly eradicate my relationship with him and my job with him if I chase my lustful longings. Whereas, if I do allocate myself to be under the spell of lust, I could possibly discover something incredible. I could finally recapture the notion of happiness again. Releasing self-indulgence or gaining self-humility? I chose the former.

With sensual intentions of attacking Paul with pleasure, I knocked him to the ground and straddled him. My mouth gorged into his permitted for a blissful concoction. I was slightly worried at the prospect of him rejecting me, but that was quite the opposite. He returned the infectivity by massaging his hands all across my body and deepening our kissing. Already being in a practically naked state only made our make-out session more enjoyable. Friction arising as our heated bare skin rubbed up against one another gave me recognition of how attracted I am to Paul.

Momentarily stopping for air, I looked down at Paul and smiled. As I was about to lean into him for a second round, which he was just as eager as I was, a click noise stopped me. Our heads swayed toward the clamor and I gulped hard.

Paparazzi.

Feeling Paul get out from beneath me made my heart drop. He doesn't want the paparazzi to think that myself and him are a _thing_. Though, that wasn't the worst, Paul's words were the worst.

He scowled at the paparazzi then at me. "This is not what it looks like. I would never be seen with the lowest of people – Dawn Hikari, the fuck up of a coordinator so all of you don't have anything to report to your bosses. You can all get the hell out of here." After, practically barking his harsh words, he jumped into his car and left. The paparazzi did the same, presumably to follow wherever he was going.

My eyes gazed in confusion as I saw his car speed away.

Paul would really put that much effort into protecting his reputation? Is he just using me for sex? My hands clenched. I know I'm gorgeous, but I'm _not_ stupid about it. I rationalize the guys I date and Paul certainly won't be one of them. Regardless, I feel more awful than when I got here.

Once my legs buckled to the ground, I soon yelled in frustration and pain. Why is this bothering me so much? Why am I allowing it? Do I like Paul?

Tears formed at the corner of my eyes and I shivered. Paul may put of that front to protect his reputation as Sinnoh's Champion, but he has no problem hiring me for his top-notch company? I suppose those two paths of careers have two different clienteles, but still that's _unacceptable_. Leaving me here in the middle of the night dressed in this with no idea where I am is outrageous. _Thanks Paul._


	8. Chapter 8

**I love you all for reviewing, alerting, and favoriting this story! It means a ton! Thanks for reading the previous chapters and here's chapter EIGHT! Please review! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.**

* * *

><p><strong>Dawn's POV <strong>

**.**

Days have blown by though I haven't really acknowledged nor cared about that fact. The only thing I've been focusing on, in attempt to forget about my current careers debacles and my Paul problem, is Brock's upcoming wedding. Since Paul so _nicely_ decided to leave me behind during our make-out session and _kindheartedly_ attacked me with insults, I have opted not to show up for work for the past couple of days. It may have been a stupid decision, but I really don't feel like confronting Paul. He possibly might be willing to genuinely help me out, but if I'm such a disgrace to be seen with him to the point where I might taint his renowned states of Pokémon Champion, then I'd have to think that spending time with him in of itself is inefficient. I am already in a very bad position. I always feel terrible. And adding Paul to the mix? He'd only brew awful outcomes and would make me feel even worse. Although, I _really_ do need someone to help me out….

I furrowed my brows and scolded myself. That is not what I'm going to be thinking about today. I'm just going shopping for a suitable dress that can fit Brock's occasion. Can't I just go for at least a couple of hours without thinking about all my problems for once?

Luckily, before I started scavenging the stores for price orientated dresses, I found a store in a magazine that claimed they had dresses at incredibly low prices. I was skeptical so I looked online to affirm it. At my connivance, they _were_. So now I'm practically a couple blocks away from said store.

Upon walking down the sidewalk in the low hours of the day, I shivered as the pre-mature breeze slightly upturned my skirt. Once the breeze shook up my skirt, it easily drew my attention to it. Faded, wrinkled, odd, worn, and tethered, my skirt is a perfect representation of my invisible income. Though, I know I look good in anything, but sometimes I just want new clothes.

I sighed sadly. Nothing ever works out the way I want it to.

In due time, I reached the clothing store. Maybe it was due to the late hours of the night or perhaps the low quality of the merchandise, but regardless there wasn't anyone in there. I didn't want to be shadowed around by a sales associate so I ignored them. Once I passed the concierge desk, I saw a coordinating magazine innocently lying there as if it was mocking me. I choked as I gulped. In frustration of feeling the uprising guilt and shame, I clenched my hands. I can try to make myself not care, but in all reality I do care. My obsession has turned into a condemnation.

What the hell is the matter with me? Why can't I ever control my emotions? It _sucks_.

I snatched the magazine and walked over to the corner of the store. Glaring at the magazine, I ripped it into pieces within a second flat.

They_ shouldn't_ advertise coordinating.

In attempt to resume my shopping – shopping that I had originally thought would sooth my stress – I failed. Damn it, I can't not like shopping! Coordinating will not destroy that for me! Upon stomping my small feet through the store, I failed to make any real noise, but gained the attention of a few employees. Once I was in a dress section that I found suitable, I started to look through them.

Do I want a mid-thigh short dress? My legs would look amazing, but I don't think that's the point – especially for a wedding. Plus, I might look skanky.

Do I want a sparkly dress? No, I'd draw too much attention to myself. That probably wouldn't coincide with the theme of the wedding anyway.

Upon looking through the various dresses, I found a beautiful…._purple_ dress. My stomach curled, my eyes watered, and I frowned. I'm _so_ not buying that.

It took three hours before I found a dress that I thought would be suitable for the wedding and was in agreement with my favorability. I smiled brightly. Maybe shopping was what I needed! I slightly cheered in pleasure and excitement. Who can't like shopping? It's an infinite realm that can make any girl, and perhaps a guy, happy! I love shopping! Although, I've only been paid my Paul once – I made him rethink his previous notion of not paying me – so I can only buy one complete outfit.

I looked upon the dress that I had in my grasp – a cream, skin fitting gown with a plunging neckline and a long, blue skinny ribbon around the waist. It played with the refrain of simplicity and made it work marvelously.

I smiled a genuine smile. I felt good.

Splurging on my hopefully not fleeting happiness, I pranced over to the dressing room and quickly jumped into the dress. As I twirled around in the mirror, I became very pleased with the outcome. The gown perfectly exploited my body – my small waist was evident, my breasts were blaring in exposure, and my legs appeared longer as the dress fittingly draped downward over them.

This_ is_ the dress.

As I started to untangle the dress from my legs, I eventually managed to wiggle out of it. It may be no designer, but this dress is better than that. Once I happily left the dressing room, I needed to decide upon heels and accessories. This outfit is about simplicity so I will follow that regimen.

I bought blue heels – the exact blue of the ribbon on the dress.

I also bought a silver chain necklace with a silver heart pendent and dangling silver earrings. I decided not to purchase any rings as I have quite an assortment of my own.

When I finished paying, the cashier handed me a big bag with everything in it. I glanced at the bag and smiled in accomplishment despite it being the total opposite of accomplishment as I just wasted – spent – money on something superficial. Ugh! It doesn't matter I need it for Brock's wedding anyway.

Strolling down the sidewalks with my bag in tow, I felt good. However, something crossed my mind that I hadn't thought of earlier. I need to bring someone to this wedding as a date! Damn it! Well, who could I bring that would be willing to? Paul is clearly out of the picture, though I wouldn't want to ask him anyway. Kenny is clearly out of the picture as well, so I guess I'll ask Barry! I hope he isn't busy though. Being an Elite Four Member, he was his hands full the majority of the time.

I parked myself down at an upcoming bench, placed the bag of newly purchased items between my legs, and called up Barry.

He didn't answer.

Ugh! I guess I'll just text him then.

**To: Barry**

**From: Dawn **

_Hey Brock's getting married and he invited me to his wedding, but the thing is that I need a date to go with. We've been friends forever so it doesn't have to be weird or anything, okay? I know this is late notice, but it's tomorrow and it would mean so much if you came! If you can just meet me in the middle of Hearthrome Park at 2:00. I already bought my clothes and everything…so I hope you can come :D_

I deeply inhaled as I sent the message. I really hope Barry's available and gets the message soon. Confirming my thoughts instantly, I felt my phone vibrate and I switched it open. Why would Barry answer my text, but not my call? Well, he always does things differently and the way he wants to do them.

**To: Dawn**

**From: Barry**

_Really? Sure, I'd love to go! You and I will have so much fun! I'll be sure to get you out of that slump of yours. Oh yeah and sorry about that night of clubbing like last week or something…I didn't know they didn't let you in D: BUT it DOESN'T matter because I will make tomorrow AMAZING for you! And I'll top that! I'll get a LIMO to drive us there! And you can't argue with me because I have money! _

I smiled at Barry's response. I'm glad out of all the people I knew as a kid, I kept Barry as one of my best friends.

I continued walking through the streets until I reached the back of Amity Park. I sneaked through the back – a part of the back where I found a new entrance – and proceeded to my secret spot. Once I arrived there, I released my Pokémon and collapsed onto the grass, my bag lightly falling beside me.

As I was about to fall into a deep nap, my Pokémon became curious as to what was in my bag.

"So you know how I have to go to Brock's wedding and all that?" I sweetly asked them. They all nodded their heads in unison. "Well, I bought a dress!"

They were surprised and startled by my happiness – happiness that they hadn't seen in a long time – and wanted to increase it somehow. Lopunny nudged me, persuading me to put it on. The curl of my lips quickly escalated into a smile at the prospect of revealing my dress to them, so I did just that.

It was at that moment when I realized that I wasn't aimlessly thinking or worrying about my career, about my life. Where I naturally, purely felt good out of my own consciousness, where I felt naturally high.

Quickly yet carefully changing into the dress, I smiled in the process. It's been so long since I've been excited for something. Emerging from the confines of the bushes, I came out, fully embracing every inch of my new pleasure stimulator.

My Pokémon cheered. My smile escalated.

I forgot how it felt to feel so good and I'm getting that simple gratification out of purchasing a new dress. I hope that this feeling will be able to creep onto tomorrow. But then how could tomorrow possibly go badly?

Deciding that I would might as well do my hair and make-up now, as it's very late in the night – close to the morning – and that I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, I told Lopunny to use ice beam on the lake and Espeon to get my make-up from my bag. With the lake now frozen, it's a perfect mirror. Once Espeon brought over my make-up, I slowly but eagerly proceeded to apply the make-up. I want my eyes to look smoky, my cheeks rusty, and my lips full. When I completed my make-up venture, I looked into the lake and smiled.

_Perfect. _

Then I instructed Espeon to then use her physic power to do my hair. I decided to leave my long hair to run down my back, but agreed upon putting curls at the ends on my locks. Finishing my look, I put on all my silver jewelry and smiled at my reflection.

The remainder of the time, I ate dinner with my Pokémon then gently slept against my Togekiss, making sure not to scuffle my hair or my dress.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, the sun was blazing in my face. I yawned and quickly checked myself in what was left from Lopunny's ice beam mirror. Still nothing was out of place and I looked great. Once I gathered everything, I returned all my Pokémon.<p>

I decided to leave Amity Park and headed straight for Heathrome Park, where I agreed to meet Barry. Along the way, I got _a lot_ of cat calls from everyone which I found very enticing and enthralling. Eventually, I reached the park and sat down. As I gazed into the sky, I blew my bangs out of my face and inhaled loudly.

I really hope that today will go well. Though, what could possibly go wrong? I don't want to have this happiness melt away with no intentions of coming back. I like being happy. It's so much better than being depressed and useless. Wait…what if Paul is going to be at this wedding? I gulped. But why would _he_ be there? I know he respects Brock, but ….. oh crap! I really, really hope he isn't there! That would just ruin everything! Paul better not be there! All I want is one day where nothing goes wrong and where I can be happy…..I hope I can achieve that today.

Breaking me out of my consciousness, I heard footsteps behind me – Barry had arrived.

He was blushing and…. _ogling_.

My eyes connected with his and I returned his blush.

What the hell? Why is Barry like this? Is it because he's not seeing me in what he's used too – worn out, old, filthy clothes – but rather a gorgeous gown? I know I'm beautiful, but if I wear beautiful clothes does it just maximize my beauty or is it because Barry just isn't used to me dressing like this? Or was he too afraid of admit my beauty to me before, but when I shove it into his face, he's more likely too?

Or does he like me?

I couldn't come to a conclusion of what was racing through Barry's thoughts, but I _liked _it that he was looking at me. I liked being visually appreciated.

I tilted my head sideways and spoke innocently, "Barry, can we go?"

He attempted to regain his composure, but it didn't really work out. "Ugh, y-yeah. Ugh, the l-limo's over there," he said as he weakly attempted to pry his eyes off of me.

I smiled at him, and then yanked his arm over to the limo. Barry stuttering and stopping? What the hell happened? I gulped nervously. Hopefully this dress doesn't attract too much attention at the wedding.

Once the limo started, Barry appeared to be better. "That's a really nice dress, Dawn," he said, obviously trying not to stare at my breasts.

"Thanks, Barry! You look pretty good yourself," I said as I started to scan Barry over. I liked what I saw – a simple grey suit that perfectly showed off his lean body. During the ride, I cuddled up against Barry and smiled. He's so comfortable and warm. Although, I'm not sure if Barry was enjoying the embrace or not. He was tensing up either out of nervousness or out of discomfort. I'd like to think that it was the former. Spontaneously throughout the ride, our hands would touch causing him to blush. Blushing Barry is adorable.

Once we arrived at the wedding's destination, my mouth was in awe of the location – flowers, foundations, balconies, food, decorations, beautiful people, and gifts everywhere.

Barry took my hand and spoke, "Come on, Dawn. Let's go!" I smiled at him and continued on.

Walking down corridors and holding hands, various people of high recognition briefly chatted with Barry. Some I recognized were including various gym leaders and other elite four members and champions of other regions…then something clicked which made me nearly explode.

OMFG! Brock's marrying Cynthia! SHIT! That means that nearly every famous person possibly is going to be here….which further means that Paul is going to be here and all the top coordinators. SHIT!

I tugged on Barry's sleeve anxiously. "I don't feel good."

He grabbed my shoulders and made eye-contact with me. "Come on, Dawn! Are you that much of a wimp that you can't even stand around some famous people for awhile?" He said with a playful smile.

"I _really_ can't stay here," I barely uttered, practically going to have a break down right then and there.

He scratched the back of his neck and ruffled his fingers through his blonde hair in confusion. "Dawn! What's the matter?"

Ugh! Why does there have to be a reason? I just can't be here! I'm going to faint from my high anxiety if I don't get my ass out of here quick. Out of my peripherals, I saw Kenny talking to various other esteemed coordinators. My skin started to crawl as they started to walk towards us. Kenny smirked, making my stomach curl in discomfort. As my head began to throb in unbearable pain, I knew that I had to think of resolution _fast_.

I need to get the hell out of here, and Barry's coming with me. I can't stand being alone anymore. The company my Pokémon provide is fine, but I need human interaction. I glanced at Barry then at Kenny and his entourage of coordinators approaching. I swallowed hard. Barry is not going to listen to me, so how the hell I'm going to get him to agree?

Kiss him as hard as I fucking can.

In one swift movement, I pulled Barry's head towards mine and quickly latched his lips onto mine. I hadn't expected him to further the kissing, but he did. Nipping and slipping his tongue into my mouth felt amazing, possibly better than Paul's kisses. He was hot, I was hot, _everything_ was hot. It was clear that Barry had been waiting a long time to do this and was sure to maximize our every action. He arched my back towards him, allowed our bodies to press up against one another. As the intensity of our make-out session increased, I noticed myself becoming more and more attractive to my best friend, wanting to further explore his body. I had every intention of doing so once I pushed Barry out of the corridor and got away from everyone, hopefully getting back in the limo and driving away, but that didn't happen.

I felt my arm get jerked away from Barry and was instantly pulled into some disclosed bathroom. I was twirled around to become face to face with _Paul_. His onyx eyes blared into mine, giving me indication that he was soon going to yell at me for some reason that was currently unknown to me.

Before speaking, his eyes scanned over my gown slightly making me feel insecure under his scrutiny. I couldn't tell from his reaction if he liked or didn't like my dress, but if you're a man you'd have to be gay to not like my outfit. All my assets are perfectly on display.

As he was looking at me, I looked at him and unconsciously licked my lips. Paul cleans up _good_.

"Why the hell haven't you been at work? And what the fuck are you doing here with _him_?" Paul growled at me.

I pouted and put my hands on my hips. "You just think I'm a screw-up as a human being. You think I'm u-useless." My voice cracked. Crap, I'm going to cry. I blinked through the tears and continued, "W-Why w-would you want someone like m-m-me? You don't c-care. And why the hell does it matter to you w-who I g-go with? I was invited and was allowed to invite a d-date. I like B-Barry."

I didn't look at him and stared at my heels. Droplets of water soon accompanied my heels on the floor.

As silence dwindled on, I came to the conclusion that Paul didn't know what to say back so I slowly turned around to get out of the bathroom, but Paul snatched my hand before I left the premises of the lavatory.

"W-What do you want with me P-Paul?" I said through tears as I tried to get my hand out of his grasp.

He pulled me into him and whispered, "I want you, Dawn."

In a flash, Paul's lips were on mine while my legs were firmly fastened around his waist and his hands were locked around my torso. We knocked over various toiletries as we gorged every inch of the bathroom with our bodies. His kisses were intense and heated, craving for more.

_Knock, Knock, Knock. _

Paul and I disregarded the nose and continued to passionately make-out.

"Hey buddy, I really need to take a shit. You've already been in there for like ten minutes. It's my turn."

"Go somewhere else," Paul mumbled as he started to trail kisses down my neck.

"Are you doing something naughty in there with yourself, man? Come on, don't masturbate during another guy's wedding. There are plenty of lovely ladies here."

"Damn imbecile," Paul snarled as he picked me up bridal style, kicked open the bathroom door, and ran out. Fortunately, nobody saw us leave and Paul continued running until he reached his limo. I felt safe in Paul's arms until I felt my head hit something then fall unconscious.


	9. Chapter 9

**I love you all for reviewing, alerting, and favoriting this story! It means a ton! Thanks for reading the previous chapters and here's chapter NINE! Please review!**  
><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Dawn's POV<strong>

**.**

My eyes flickered open to unknown brightness as my nose awakened to lavender. I jolted up in the bed I was in and rubbed my eyes. _Paul's bedroom_. I smiled slightly and touched my lips. I may not be able to coherently recall what happened in the past twenty-four hours but I do remember Paul attacking my lips at the wedding party. I smiled again. I threw the satin sheets of his bed on the floor and walked towards his scarcely yet elegantly adorned living room. As I warily entered the living room I saw him sitting on the black love-seat reading what appeared to be the newest issue of Pokémon Trainers.

I fixated my entire attention onto him. His purple bangs fell gently over his face as he read the magazine with discrete fascination. He anchored his leg on top of the other one while a hand was gripping the arm of the love-seat. He gently scratched his nose and flipped a page. Then he looked up. His eyes were stern, undecipherable, and dull. A smug look on his face caused my stomach to twirl.

I followed his eyes as they scanned over me in dissatisfaction. My body shivered and my hands fluttered to my hair. _What is his problem? What is he looking at? _I frowned and became overly self-consciousness of my every action. Silence took over and made me feel nauseous. I felt my eyes glaze over him and become blurry.

Momentarily, his eyes left mine and shyly glanced at the magazine that he placed on the glass table. In one swift motion he was up and walking towards me. My arms trembled, my pulse accelerated, and my eyes darted between Paul's eyes and leg's. With my immobility, I wasn't capable of doing anything and that made me worried. My lower lip quivered. _Shit!_

We were inches apart. I felt his breath warming my cheeks which only made them heat up at a faster rate. One of his fingers lightly pulled a strand of my hair behind my ear. Our eyes connected and my whole face was instantly consumed by a vibrant red. My lips slightly parted then immediately snapped shut. I wasn't capable of asking him what I intended to get out of him. His eyes drew me in with their subtle excitement and unpredictability. He, without notice and with urgency, snagged my attention as he clutched my wrist and trailed his thumb over my sensitive skin. We looked at each other.

I used my other hand to ruffle my hair in apprehension. "P-Paul...," I paused and bit my lip, not quite sure what to ask him, then continued, "Ugh...w-what happened after you kind of …..stole me from the party?"

Lips twirling into a grimace, he scoffed. I scanned him over in curiosity. A light blush tainted his tanned skin while his eyes wavered in embarrassment. He coughed and tentatively spoke back, not making eye-contact with me, "While I carried you, I didn't really watch your head and it collided into a pole."

"Oh," I barely whispered.

"Yeah...ugh, sorry," he replied, releasing my wrist.

_What now_? My hands subconsciously ran to my necklace and began to fiddle with it. I wasn't sure what to think or do next. Paul had kissed me, my _boss _had kissed me so what would be the next thing to do? More importantly, what would get my career back on track? And would Paul really be the way to do it? I just want to be happy with my life and if Paul says I can do that through his modeling gig, will it work? Will liking Paul work with my life?

I didn't know.

I looked back at Paul and he looked back at me. "So..ugh..," I stopped when my cell phone rang. My phone was rattling inside the pocket of my sweatshirt and I was debating whether or not to pick it up. I glanced at Paul and he seemed disinterested so I went ahead and took the call.

**"DAWN! What happened? You just left me just left me at the wedding yesterday! What was that? After you kissed me too? WHAT! What are you trying to tell me? I HATE MIXED SIGNALS!" **

I covered the phone from Barry's loud yelling and scampered away from Paul. Once I was in another room, safely away from Paul who didn't really seem to care if I took the call, I replied back.

"Barry, please don't yell!" I stopped and thought things over. _Damn it! I had to kiss Barry too? Ugh, what do I do now? Why do I have to always make things so complicated? _"Listen Barry, right now is not a good time to talk. Can you call me back later? Please?"

**"NO! Dawn, I want to talk about this NOW! Oh yeah and Kenny's totally jealous because you kissed me." **

"Barry, I could really care less about Kenny, you know that," I sighed then continued, "Fine, so what do you want to talk about? Let's just not get into different tangents about things, alright? Please Barry?"

**"Yeah, I know. Kenny's such a douche sometimes. This morning he made me EAT toothpaste. Just as a warning, you don't want to eat toothpaste because it gives you massive diarrhea. Okay...so wanna go out?"**

I laughed. "Barry, that's why you don't eat toothpaste. Ugh, well I can't really go out right now."

**"Why?"**

"Troublesome, who the hell are you talking to?" Paul yelled from the living room.

**"WHAT! You're at Paul's HOUSE! What are you doing there? I'M COMING!" he yelled back as he ended the call. **

I felt like throwing up._ Damn it! This isn't good! Ugh, what do I do? _I shoved my phone back into my pocket and walked back where Paul was. "Hey listen, I have to go." I quickly left after that. Hopefully Paul will be able to deal with Barry by himself.

Running out of Paul's place, I soon made my way onto the gravel of the sidewalk and ran to a destination that I wasn't sure of. The sensation of the crisp air pelting my exposed skin was all I cared for. The palms of my feet quickened their pace; dirt clouds gravitating around my ankles became noticeable as I ran. I didn't stop running until I reached a street vendor with a particularly interesting article.

**The New Face of Paul Shinji's Company: Who will it be?**

_Will this be an indicator of increased success for the company or will it be the detrimental factor that ends it?_

_ The special new spokesperson is said to be revealed next week. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it's someone good._

_What? Why are people are creating hype for this?_ I gulped as I picked up the magazine from the stand. My eyes slightly watered and narrowed while I re-read the words. I would never be able to get my life back on track if the main stream is expecting someone of high social status. Oddly enough, I would probably be penalized for destroying Paul's company. My throat became dry. _What have I got myself into? _I was just fine suffering as a coordinator.

I put the magazine back and slowly walked through the streets of Heathrome. My spirits and head were down. I decided to momentarily ignore my career position and thought about my relations.

Paul. My nose scrunched. I wasn't able to physical deny my attraction to him. I wasn't able to deny our diversified yet completely there chemistry. I like Paul. I want to give myself that right, but should that even be an option? If he truly does like me then he's probably furious that he saw me making out with Barry at the wedding.

Barry. I frowned. Why did I have to kiss him at the wedding party? We had the perfect friendship and I had to ruin it so easily out of desperation to get away from Kenny. I have always been very attracted to him, but that shouldn't have been reason enough to play with his emotions! Ugh!

Kenny. Why do I even question my relation with him? It's nonexistent and he's a douche!

I loudly exhaled and gazed at my shoes. Their white soles became dirty as they scoffed up against the dirt pit I was surrounding in. I sighed and looked into the sky.

"I wish I could leave the past behind," I whispered to myself.

I decided to walk to Paul's building, not really knowing why but wanting to go anyway. As I arrived there, I was confronted by the scent of lilac candles, something that Paul made necessary to have in the building. I idly sat on the love-seat of the modernly decorated reception room, waiting for something to happen. Time passed and nothing happened. I slouched and blew my bangs out of my face in annoyance.

"What am I doing with my life?" I cried silently to myself.

I grabbed a magazine off the table and began reading it, trying to sustain from falling into boredom. Flipping through various articles, not really paying attention and just looking at the pictures, I didn't consume that much time up. Although, I didn't need to as Paul entered the building.

"Why the hell did you let Blondie come to my place?" he snarled as he sat next to me and made direct eye-contact. "The shithead broke my damn toilet and insisted that I eat his gourmet banana meal. I can't deal with that imbecile."

I didn't respond and pulled my knees into my chest.

"Damn it, Troublesome. I want an answer."

I turned my head towards him with watery eyes. "I really don't know, okay? I'm too stressed out right now. T-There's just too many things to think about!"

"What is your problem?"

"Everything," I muttered, shoving my head into my knees. Not replying back, Paul made things awkward and unbearable.

_Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why do I always have to feel so miserable? From my career to my relationships, I just can't do anything right!_

I slightly peeked through the small slots of my fingers and glanced at Paul. Looking at him made me feel exposed and vulnerable. His eyes were piercing and biased while his lips face was unable to sympathize. I felt terrible. I lurched over in pain and started to cry again.

"P-Paul, can you just leave?"

I heard him sigh. "Troublesome..is this about your career direction? You have to get in through that thick skull of yours that my world will become your world and you can actually make a living doing it. Chasing some asinine dream isn't getting you anywhere. Plus, it has some of the best incentives so how in hell could you deny it?"

Why does Paul have to keep bringing up my coordinating life? I know that I'm leaving it behind and I'm trying to adjust to that. It's just hard leaving behind something that you once loved so much, something that was a part of you. Besides, doesn't he realize that _that _isn't the only thing bothering me?

I arched my head up and looked at him. "Paul, it's not only that. Okay? You're always focusing on how I'm a failure in coordinating and I get it! You just make me feel worse every time you talk about it. It's going to take time for me to release something that I loved so much. Although, that's not the only thing bothering me right know. It's YOU!" I paused to make eye-contact and frowned. He wasn't even paying attention. I tentatively started back up again, "You're the one who kissed me at Brock's wedding. I mean what do I make of my boss kissing me? And you acted so weird after too...so what is your deal?"

He blinked a few times, and then replied, "Are you on your period?"

"WHAT! You're an asshole!"

My heart dropped. _He's such a bastard! He can't do that to me! _I stormed out of the building, freely allowing my tears to flow and build. I didn't care and wanted to get as far as I could from Paul.

"Ugh, Troublesome, you're so fixated on getting things accomplished and making them happen. Don't you realize that the most important part is the process? Things don't happen overnight. You're so damn paranoid and afraid of the future that it's consumed you," he snarled as he snatched my hand and lead me into the posh elevator of the building.

Once the metal doors slammed shut, I winced. "Paul, what are you doing?"

He was too busy texting other people that he didn't respond back and that made me nervous. Though, I didn't feel like asking him again since the elevator ride would take some time to get to whatever floor Paul wanted. Getting Paul made was the last thing I wanted to happen. I blew my bangs out of my face and sighed in annoyance at the elevator's clicking. Every time it passed a floor a loud, obnoxious click would go off as the elevator lit up the floor's number. The monotonous rhythm of clicks started to distract me, it started to get me irritated. I flinched every time the each click vibrated the small space of the elevator. I tried to ignore it and succeed in focusing on the sound of Paul punching his thumbs onto the keyboard of his phone. In a successive and stop pattern, that too started to become annoying. I sighed and glanced at the floor number.

**Level 24**

This is going to take a while.

Since nothing was able to fully distract me, I distracted myself. My eyes looked at the metal walls. They were clean and crisp to the point that I could coherently see my reflection in it. I studied myself and trembled.

My mascara was smudged across my cheeks, tainting my porcelain skin with a dark paint. There were circles under my blood-shot eyes. Awkwardly ruffled, my hair was a mess. I looked tired and terrible. I looked so _sad._

Instantly, I averted my eyes from the mirror-like elevator walls and glued my eyes shut, trying not to hiccup or cry. _Ugh, what is wrong with me?_

"Troublesome, we're here," he said, distracting me from my daze and pushing me out.

"What are we doing?" I said, trying weakly to fight against his pushing.

"I getting you what you want."

He forcefully jostled me into a large room full of busy people. Each person was doing something different – some were putting make-up on people, some were setting up the various cameras and speakers, and some were perfecting a set. The set itself – which took up the majority of the room – had a bed with velvet, red sheets, a beach backdrop, and dim lighting.

I timidly looked back at Paul and spoke, "W-What is this for?"

He snarled, "You essentially want a defined future, so why not start now? You're my spokes-model so get with it."

What had made Paul think that this will help anything? I was supposed to wait until next week to start, but he wants me to start now? Like that's a huge life-changer.

"Paul, I don't understand," I barely articulated.

He groaned and rubbed his temple. "You are going to model a product of my company, alright? It's new cologne. Just do what I damn say."

Pushing me into the make-up station, he promptly left. I was attacked by three girls and one guy all working on my face. I fiddled with my thumbs and became nervous.

"Honey, what happened? Your make-up is a mess!" one of the girls, the one with overly done bright red blush, said.

"It's nothing..," I mumbled quietly.

"Not a talker, eh? So be it. As long as you look good it really doesn't matter," the one guy, presumably gay, said.

What the hell is wrong with everyone? Do they really have to evade into my personal life? Can't I just be left alone?

"Hey honey, don't be sad," the other woman said as she switched brushes and continued, "Apparently the company owner has developed a major liking towards you. You should be proud; it's rather hard to please him."

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Great."

Once they were done with my make-up, I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was clear and there were no mascara smudges of any kind. The bags under my now clear eyes were eliminated. I looked fresh and smiled certainly.

Leading me over to the where all the clothes were located, the guy who applied my eye-liner gave me my outfit – my very revealing and skimpy outfit.

My eyes expanded. "What! Why do I have to wear this?"

The guy nonchalantly waved his hand and left. I swallowed hard.

I wasn't able to wrap my mind on just wearing a barely there bra and panties in a photo-shoot. I couldn't let the whole world see me like that! Though, I thought that since it was advertising the cologne the camera wasn't really going to be focused on me. I sighed and reluctantly put on the outfit. It wasn't like this could further harm my reputation anyway.

I walked onto the set and felt my anxieties rise. The lights were bright, everyone was staring at me, and it was really hot. With insistence, the director rushed over to me and explained the layout of the shoot. I didn't like it. He told me that I was doing the shoot with another male model where our limbs were going to be interlaced on the sex enhanced bed with the guy's mouth on my neck.

"Alright, got it?" he asked me.

I shivered. Why the hell was the cologne advertisement going to be based off two people in the preliminary stages of having sex? That had nothing to do with cologne at all! I inwardly groaned and unconsciously picked at my mascara. Just as I was about to refuse I saw Paul in the back of the room starting at me. His eyes were harsh and unwelcoming. I knew not to go against his company.

"Ugh...fine," I mumbled with impatience.

The male model, who of which was only dressed in boxers, jumped on the bed and raised his eye-brows at me, motioning for me to join him. My stomach grew a knot and I felt dizzy. I did not want to do this. Why did Paul even think that this would spark a new career direction in my life? I may had been losing at coordinating, but it would have been better and less awkward that this.

Grudgingly and going against my morality, I staggered onto the bed. The model forcefully grabbed my bare waist and dragged me into our tangled position. My skin prickled at the touch of the male model's body. I apprehensively shut my eyes in attempt to block out the bright lights and unnaturally focused people.

Our bodies weren't cohesively working well. I wasn't sure if that was because of my awkwardness or his inability to hold me and pose at the same time, but the photographer didn't like the photos being taken.

"Can the two of you please just not be so damn rigid? These pictures are horrid," he said as he cleaned the lens of the camera, thinking that it would help.

He continued to take photos, but quickened his pace and tried to take different angles. In the process, I felt my anxiety rise and droplets of sweat seep from my hair. The male model had this notion of grabbing my face and making our eyes connect. From poorly attempting to make forced eye-contact, he rolled over me and fell off the bed.

"Hey, that like really hurt my ass," the guy said uncomfortably and continued "Ah shit. My boxers ripped. I need help here."

"Goddamn it! You two are imbeciles! Can't you just get the shoot done without making it so difficult? How is this not working?" the director yelled at us, sending a lethal glare towards my photo-shoot companion.

I avoided looking at the director and looked over to where Paul was standing beforehand. The thing was he wasn't there. I gulped and frantically looked around. _Where did he go?_ I arched my eye-brows at my sudden reaction. _Why should I care? _Even though I knew I shouldn't have continued looking, I did and I quickly found Paul. He was talking to the director rather animatedly and then headed towards me.

"I'll fix this Troublesome," he said with a smirk then wandered off.

_What_? The blue orbs of my eyes slightly widened in fear and I felt my throat become parched. My hands nervously clutched the red, velvet sheets of the bed. I looked around and everyone appeared to be waiting for something. Not knowing what made me feel troubled. Everyone repositioned into place when Paul came back out in boxers and climbed onto the bed with me.

"Paul! What are you doing!" I whispered as I tried to hide my face, knowing that it would be fully red.

"Well, your new career has started, just as you wished, so I decided to answer and confirm your other question about me. Hopefully there won't be any more damn question after this."

I heard the director cheering at the shots he was getting, but I didn't dare, I couldn't care. I was only capable of focusing on Paul holding me close and his lips on my throat. Paul's body up against my body felt so right, so good. Our skin melted into one another and our limbs had a perfect balance of being in contact with one another and being laced within the sheets.

I didn't want it to end, but Paul stopped when he heard the director say cut. Leaping off the bed and softening his glare at me, he gently grabbed my face and softly kissed me. Barely whispering, he spoke, "Get dressed and meet me outside." He left to go talk to the director – probably about which photos they were going to use – and left to get dressed.

I stumbled off the bed, not really sure what happened but had a smile on nevertheless, and went to jump into my regular clothes. I felt genuinely good and Paul had made me this good. My smile grew and I jumped in excitement. I quickly tossed the skimpy outfit to the girl who did my make-up and hurried out. Ignoring anyone who got in my way, I decided to take the stairs rather than the elevator.

My feet jumped two steps at a time, wanting to get to the bottom as quick as possible. Though, it didn't take long before I became quickly exhausted. My knees buckled and I sat on the gravel of the stairwell, my back against the cold bars trying to catch my breath.

"I thought you'd be here."

My head perched up in curiosity as I made eye-contact with Paul. "W-What-"

"I though you'd do something stupid and take the stairs," he snarled as he came closer to me.

"Ugh...well...fine! I just thought it would be faster," I replied weakly.

He smirked and picked me up bridal style, causing me to blush. "This will be faster."

With Paul's hands tucked tightly around my body and his head close to mine, I snuggled into his chest and smiled deeply. The throbbing of my head was gone and replaced with better thoughts. I tightened my grip on Paul's shirt, allowing me to fully inhale his sweet lilac-lavender scent. Hearing his long breaths and feeling the rise and fall of his chest slowly became a mechanism of sleep inducing paradise. I didn't have to try or force myself. Although, a glaring question started to nag my conscious and I became bothered.

If Paul is planning to really use the pictures of me and him for his new cologne, then the paparazzi is going to destroy him. His company is going to deteriorate because of me. I may want him but can I really do it at the cost of stripping away his own success?

I gulped. Hopefully this cologne won't attract too many people?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – read, relish, review. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. All rights reserved to the owners. However, I do own the plot of this story and any OC's. **

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><p><strong>Dawn's POV<strong>

**.**

I thumbed through the many numbers that I now had in my phone, finding the constant rattling noise of the phone's click comforting. I wasn't entirely sure why I needed to have nearly over two-hundred contacts, the majority of them I'd probably never even meet, in a phone that would have busted my already debt-defined back account, but I didn't question it. I guess I should have been happy that Paul gave a job, a defined job that actually had a job description and could provide me with a source of revenue, but I wasn't. I didn't even feel thankful. I felt confused and alone.

I had already been working at my new modeling job for about two months and despite the relentless influx of meeting new people, going new places, and being flirted on more than once, I didn't truly feel satisfied. I felt that if I didn't have something to fill my life with then I'd be painfully bored or reminded of coordinating so I tried to keep preoccupied as much I could. I wasn't entirely sure whether or not Paul and I were actually in a relationship or not, but I didn't want to ask him. I didn't want to know if he was just merely playing with my emotions to get me to take the job. I was afraid. Originally, I had thought that the paparazzi would destroy our 'relationship,' but rarely seeing Paul makes in hard for them to even capture a picture of us together.

Paul wasn't the only problem though; I couldn't see my Pokémon or friends as often as I liked either because it would have interfered with my job. I solely associated myself with business people – people who were voracious, driven by the insatiable desire of making their wallets grow. That was probably the most painful – being so busy that my real desire and love in life was ignored. Every time I saw a coordinating magazine, I cringed. I didn't like thinking of it as giving up because I didn't, but then I wasn't sure what to call my ….. resignation.

I sighed, "I think too much."

I grabbed a magazine off of the glass table that was idly sitting there, seemingly mocking me to not read it. I was waiting for a client that I would have to smooze into investing a large amount of money into Paul's company. The position of my job had done a 180 rather unintentionally. First I was just modeling, doing various commercials and ads, but now I actually was an associate wiping my client's asses with qualms of expected consumption rates. People said I was good with working with people, but what they actually meant was that I was attractive and power obsessed men loved striking women.

I decided not to read the magazine and put in back on the table, saddened by the fact that magazines were just a reincarnation of my work. Besides, unconsciously flipping through pages and scanning over overly photo-shopped pictures never really counted as reading anyway.

I lay back in the black suede couch, thinking about how much the sitting utensil cost. _Surely __more __that __what __you're __morals __are __worth, __honey_. I groaned. I wished I had my Pokémon. Talking and amusing myself with really important people, pretending to be someone I'm not only lasts so long until I become bored, again. I started drawing random doodles with the tips of my fingers on the suede couch, humming mindlessly. My brows creased harshly when the receptionist called my name, "Ms. Hikari?"

I looked up. "Yes?"

She ruffled through some papers, jotting down various notes of some kinds, and then redirected her attention back to me. "Your client had to cancel. He said he'll call you personally for a new time and place."

"Okay," I replied, getting up and grabbing my branded, designer bag. I used my knuckles to knead out any of the small wrinkles that my black, cocktail dress had gathered from sitting so long, then left.

It was dark outside, the only source of light emulating from the full moon. Yet with its dim intensity I decided it was too much and put on my too-large-for-my-face sunglasses. I kicked various small pebbles that decided to come into my trail of walking, not paying attention to wear my kick had sent each one. With every step I took, I wasn't sure of where I was exactly going, hoping I would get _there_ soon.

I exhaled loudly as I walked. I had prematurely thought that this job would at least give me some little, at least measurable, source of happiness, but I still had yet to find it. My face was on magazines, titled as the new leader in the business world. My name was being spoken, quite highly and with much respect. My identity had become nationalized. I had everything I wanted, but I still wasn't happy. I did have everything I wanted, but not in the way I wanted it. I wanted to be a coordinator, not whatever I am now.

After awhile of walking, I reached Paul's house. I was slightly confused that I would automatically walk there as if it was set on auto-drive in my brain, but nevertheless I was there and didn't feel like walking some else for the night, especially without my Pokémon with me. It was only expected that the Sinnoh Champion have one of the most expensive houses in all of Hearthrome City, but having a house so large would make my time of night, ringing the bell of the gate, ignored.

I detangled my windblown hair, took off my sunglasses, and reapplied some lipstick before pressing my finger to the bell. I waited for a few moments, questioning whether he was even home. Despite being too tired to go somewhere else, I knew that I was also there to talk to him, something that was rare in the past weeks. I missed Paul.

The intercom button of the gate turned green. "What are you doing here?"

I inched myself closer to the intercom, knowing that he was probably watching me from the video camera above me. "Paul….can you please let me in? I know it's late, but I want to talk," I said rather weakly. He didn't reply immediately and I could hear his light breaths from the other side of the intercom.

The button turned green again. "Talk now."

I sighed. _Why __does __Paul __have __to __be __so __difficult_? "Okay, well, ugh," I paused, feeling awkward talking to a silver, cold intercom rather than Paul. I tried to think of how to phrase what I wanted to ask him, which was a lot, into a coherent, non-exaggerated sentence. I didn't manage to do it so I decided just to talk freely. "Paul, I really appreciate you giving me this job and all. I've gained money and fame from it, but…but….I'm just not happy and this isn't what I want from life or your company."

I paused, going against continuing as Paul hadn't replied back yet. I twiddled with my thumbs, becoming nervous.

The light was green. I gulped. "You mean to tell me that when you were you on our ass with no money, identity, or job, basically pleading me to help you out, you really didn't want it? Or do you just like living in the scrums better? I fucking built you and now you want to destroy that? You know that'll hurt me too."

That was much worse that I had thought. _Why __is __Paul __so __mad? __I __guess __we __never __really __had __anything. __He__'__s __just __like __all __the __other __businessmen_. I frowned.

"If you're asking me to resign you, then no. You're not going anywhere, especially to chase some stupid dream. Now, was there anything else?"

It was true. Paul only used me to get a position at his company and make it grow. He knew it would happen and he knew how he wanted it to happen. It didn't really make sense why he chose me, but it didn't matter because he tricked me. He never really had any feelings for me. Everything was a façade, a lie and I believed it. And now I was stuck.

_Anything __else __to __say __to __Paul?_ I knew I would regret it and that he probably didn't deserve to hear it, but I figured I didn't have anything else to lose. "Ugh…Paul…well, I missed you. I know that these things I think are probably wrong and the feelings I feel are probably wrong too, but they happened nevertheless and I'm sorry they did. I'm sorry for ever liking you or trying to like you. I …yeah…I don't know why I did, but I did. You wanted to help me when no one else did and I admired that. I tried to convince myself that for the past two months, you were busy, but it wasn't that. You just didn't want to see me. So….yeah…that's all I wanted to say."

I looked at Paul's house, cringing at the memories and left. I was stupid to think that Paul could like me.

My pace of walking was even slower than before. I wasn't sure where to go now so I just kept walking. It wasn't long until I thought of my life as a whole and how I hated every aspect of it. I decided that a change was necessary.

I needed to leave. I wanted to leave. I thought things over carefully. I could easily build myself up, using my business alter ego and contouring my supreme financial status to that of a coordinator, but I didn't like the idea. I had too much baggage, good and bad, in Hearthrome and the only way to rid myself of that was to leave. I didn't want to be reminded of all my mishappenings in Amity Square. I didn't want to reminisce about all the adventures I had with Ash and Brock in Sinnoh. I wanted to be in new surroundings with new people and I wanted to get there by myself. I wasn't going to take a train or a plain or a boat, I solely wanted to reach my destination with only the aid of my Pokémon. Although, I wasn't stupid; I wasn't going to start out with no money before.

Currently, I didn't really have any readily available cash from spending all my very large paychecks on clothes and shoes so I decided to go back to Paul's building. I took off my heels and ran, gaining speed as I felt renewed invigoration. The amount of time it took me to get there was must faster than it ever took me before. I actually wanted to get to work.

I ran into Paul's building rather awkwardly – hair in a mess, panting heavily, and barefooted. Although, I was able to correct my composure by the time the receptionist was done with whatever call she had. I looked at her and smiled. _I __hope __this __works_.

She smiled back and spoke, not distracted at all this time, "Hello, Ms. Hikari, did you forget something?"

I sauntered other to her desk, arching my elbows delicately and placing them on the marble top, and learned towards her, still sweetly smiling. I gently played with a strand of my hair, slightly distracting her, and eventually spoke, "Well you see, I was going to put a down payment on this amazing new apartment, overlooking the city, but as I have just started working here, I don't have enough money yet. I just spoke with Mr. Shinji, literally just spoke, and he thought it was disgusting that one of his top associates and models lives in the slums. So he wanted me to have my next three checks advanced now."

She took everything in slowly, acting as if I just gave her a complex, international economic dilemma to solve, and finally replied, "Oh I could totally agree with Mr. Shinji, but I'm not sure I have the power to do that."

"Are you sure? Because he told that you did and he would be very unpleased if I told him you went against his orders," I said, turning my back to her and appearing distracted by her ignorance. She leaned over, grabbed my shoulder, and twirled me back around. I saw her face. She was terrified.

"Oh, please don't tell him! I would hate this lose this job. Hold on, let me see what I can do," she said as she immediately began typing on her computer.

A small smile played on my lips while I tried to remain clam and not explode with joy. I went to sit on the same black, suede couch I was sitting at earlier, only this time waiting for something different. I immediately grew very impatient and nervous and sitting and doing nothing wasn't helping. I went over to her desk and leaned over, looking at her screen.

"I'm sorry, this is taking so long Ms. Hikari. I actually do know how to access the company's funds. I've done it for a few clients before. However, the company changes it's password quiet frequently so I'm not sure that the password I have now will work, but I'll give it a try," she said, eyes fixated on the screen, bypassing a number of screens. "Why do you even need the money tonight though, can't you wait until tomorrow morning?"

_Shit_! "Ugh, well, you see….the apartment I want is very exclusive and there a number of other buyers interested. If I don't put a bid in by tonight then I will have no chance by tomorrow," I said relieved that I was able to think on my feet so well.

"Oh wow," she said rather nonchalantly, still going through a number of different screens, then continued, "Where's it located?"

_Shit_! "Ugh, I would tell you, but if I do buy it I'm going to throw a huge party and invite all my coworkers….so I want the location to be a surprise!" _Please_ _don__'__t __ask __any __more __questions __and __just __open __up __the __damn __account_!

"Oh I love parties!" she squealed, now turning to look at me. I smiled awkwardly and daintily pointed back to the screen.

_Yeah, __that__'__s __great __bitch, __but __can __you __just __get __to __the __account_! _I don't want to waste any more time!_

A few minutes passed by where I watched her every more. I wasn't quite sure what or how a bimbo like her was bypassing what seemed to be very intricate computer structures, but she was so I didn't question it. I didn't feel like talking so, except for her fake nails hitting the keyboard, the lobby was quiet. Eventually she arrived at _the_ screen. "Oh my! I did it! I'm at the company's account! All I need to do is enter in the password!" she said as she turned to face me. "But, as I said they change the password a lot, so the one I have might not work."

I nodded. She entered in the password and within a few minutes, the computer clicked. "What does that mean?" I asked, apprehension practically dripping from my mouth.

"It means it worked!" she said cheering and hugging me, probably glad that she the 'threat' didn't take away her precious job as a mere receptionist. She ripped out the check that the computer had printed and told me to cash it at any local ATM. As I grabbed the piece of paper from her hand, I felt ecstatic. Everything was going so well and felt so surreal, until her cell phone rang. _Damn __it, __does __the __company __contact __her __that __fast_?

She looked at her phone then back at me. "Ms. Hikari, I have to take this, sorry, it's my boyfriend," she said as she pranced down the hall, into the bathroom.

I sighed contently. _It __actually __worked __and __nothing __bad __happened! __Now __I __can __start __my __new __life __out __right!_ I looked at her computer and noticed something – she didn't log out of the company's account and as I just witnessed her type in the exact password, I could easily do it again. I gulped. That would be wrong, but I already was committing a felony so why not just do it a little more? In the past two months, I earned Paul so much money that he would have of earned otherwise so in a way I did deserve it. I bit my lip. My eyes flickered back to the screen as my fingers laid at rest on the keyboard, still questioning themselves whether or not they should really do ….the crime. _Why __would __it __matter? __I __would __disappear __by __tonight __anyway. __No __one __would __be __able __to __catch __me._

I looked over my shoulder to see if the receptionist was back from the bathroom. She wasn't. I took a deep breath and focused on the screen. I pressed the same code that the receptionist had used earlier and then slammed the enter key. A long list of processing information occurred, asking me three more times for the extra same password, then finally opened up to the company's bank account.

$885,439,244.97

_Shit, __that__'__s __a __lot __of __money_.

As people around the world continued to buy and invest in Paul's products, the number continued to increase, only expanded the net worth of the company. _Surely, __if __I __take __out __a __mere __$10 __million __it __wouldn__'__t __hurt._ I pressed enter on the screen and a box popped up.

**HOW MUCH WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE OUT?**

**$10,000,000.00**

**PASSWORD? **

**WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAVE A NOTE/INSTUCTION? **

I thought it over. _Yes!_ _It isn't like he could actually catch me anyway._

**YES**

**PLEASE TYPE IN NOTE/INSTRUCTION:**

**Fuck you Paul**

I instantly ripped the new check out of the printer, closed the account, and left the building. There was a feeling budding inside of me that I couldn't completely articulate it into words, but I liked it. The adrenaline-like sensation felt astounding and I worked off of it. I spirited to my crappy apartment, wind slashing my hair and picking my pace up from under my heels. I stopped for nothing and ignored everything, only one thing pertaining on my mind: best decision that I had ever made. There was a smile on my face that I couldn't and didn't want to take off. Life was momentarily perfect and I wasn't going to go into any of the minor details that could conceivably ruin my attitude. Upon entering my apartment, I grabbed all my valuables, favorite clothes, Pokéballs, Pokémon food, favorite jewelry, and various other things before leaving. I also change my attire, appealing to a more appropriate adventure of spontaneity and an indefinite future.

I looked at my apartment once more, feeling slightly sad that I would be leaving it behind, leaving a part of myself behind, my former identity. I couldn't bring myself to look at the carpet stains, mismatched furniture, or dented walls any longer. I shut the door and called out my Togekiss. We only stopped to cash both checks then left to fly into the night's horizon.


End file.
